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Tundra Jokes

You know how you catch a polar bear? You go out on a frozen tundra and cut a hole in the ice. Then put a ring of peas around the hole.

When the bear comes up to take a pea you kick him in the ice-hole.

Once upon a time, there were two cavemen...

There were two cavemen overlooking the tundra.

Caveman 1: Hey look! A flock of elephants!

Caveman 2: Herd?

Caveman 1: Herd of what?

Caveman 2: HERD of elephants.

Caveman 1: 'course I have! There's a flock of them, right over there!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother polar bear and her cub are crossing the tundra...

"Mom," says the little cub, "Was daddy a polar bear?"

"Yes," says the mother, "Your father was a polar bear."

"Was he a hundred percent polar bear?" asked the cub.

"Yes, he was one hundred percent polar bear" the mother replied.

"And mom," says the cub, "Are you a polar b...

I've been having trouble meeting girls, so I asked my dad for some advice. He said that if I wanted to break the ice, the next time I go out, I should use this pickup line...

"Ford F-150, Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, Toyota Tundra, Nissan Titan, GMC Sierra, Honda Ridgeline..."

During the Cold War, the CIA wanted to create the perfect Russian spy.

So they train a cohort for years and then they choose the best candidate. They deploy him from a stealth submarine on a remote Russian coast and the spy starts making his way towards Moscow through the frozen tundra. After a few days he comes across a small trapping village and as he was starting to...

Two of my mom's sisters moved to the Alaskan wilderness

Now it's a double aunt tundra

(OC) A buddy and I flew up to Alaska to do some ice fishing.

Neither of us had ever been and we were both pretty excited, but when we got there my friend was just too freaked out about falling through the ice and freezing to death to go. Well, I was still super stoked so I ended up calling a local tourist company and I hired a couple of locals to take me out...

Santa Claus had started feeling like he was losing some of his mojo at one point...

... so in recent years, he had taken to periodically stopping during his annual Christmas Eve present run to take in words of wisdom from spiritual leaders from various backgrounds all over the world, hoping that someone could re-ignite that spark for him that made Christmas special.

Eventual...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Big Game Hunter goes to Siberia to hunt Russian Bear

When he arrives on the train station (probably the only one in Siberia) he is greeted by the village hunter/gatherer/provider who has a very mangy, tiny, old dog leashed with a massive iron chain.
\-"Right, I'll help you." says the native "Here's what we're going to need: A great big blow horn,...

Hunting Polar Bears

A hunter decides he wants to hunt a polar bear in the northern tundra. He hires a plane and a guide to take him out in to the ice fields. He asks the guide if he has any advice on how to catch a polar bear.

"It's quite simple," the guide responds. "First you take your shovel and dig a large h...

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