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Graduating Jokes

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Before graduating to full priests, the candidates had to undergo

The cardinal test.

To make sure that they would stick to the oath of celibacy, the graduating would be priests were all taken to a room and made to stand in a straight line and covered their eyes.

The bishop tied a little Bell on their penises and then brought in a naked beautiful woma...

In 1996, Peter was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.



He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in...

Congratulations 2020 graduating class

Reigning senior skip day champions!

What do you call the worst student in a graduating class of medical students?

Doctor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After graduating from college, a woman comes home and confesses to her father, "After four years of college, I ain't a virgin anymore."

"I'm very disappointed in you," says the father. "Ever since you were just a little one, you were very bright. You got amazing grades in school, and you were actually the first member of our rural family to get accepted into college. To afford it, I had to get a second mortgage on the farm and sell ...

An Irish lad just graduating school embarks on his career in business.

Found employment in a nice village. Being a bit of an introvert, took him a few months to venture into the local pub. Asked the bartender for 3 pints, and he took them back into a dark corner table, drank the 3 and left. After a few days, when he ordered his usual 3, the barkeep said "Ya know lad, I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was voted “Least Likely to Succeed” by my graduating class.

I hate being a teacher.

Did you hear what that mathematician thought after graduating?

They were given another degree of freedom.

My Vietnamese friends are getting married and graduating on the same day

I told him it was a Nguyen/Nguyen

For my graduating class' 20th reunion, we're digging up our time capsule from freshman year

I cant wait to see how big my dog Sparky got

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rookie mortician starts his first job after graduating.

The senior mortician walks him to the morgue and shows him the three bodies they'll be working on that day. All the faces are frozen into smiles and the rookie mortician is curious.

Pointing to the first body, he asks, "Why is this guy smiling?"

"Oh," the senior mortician says. "He had...

If a doctor takes a hippocratic oath after completing med school, what does a lawyer take after graduating law school?

A hypocritical oath.

A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions.

It might be an outdated study though.

Forty years after graduating, four friends from business school decide to have a reunion.

The first three arrive at the same time. As they wait for their fourth friend, they start talking, catching up on the years they missed. All of them have had careers, married, and had children who are themselves having careers.

"My son has been such a successful real estate businessman that h...

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