I saw my girlfriend naked for the first time and genuinely loved it. (Nsfw)

Although saying "This was a lot to take in" wasn't the right choice of words.

Autocorrect is always spot on and genuinely helps me be more productive on my mobile device.

Autocorrect is your friend. Always and everywhere.

Thanks to a very healthy lifestyle, a married couple live well into their 100s

One day they are both killed in a tragic accident, and go to heaven.

On the first morning, they go up to God and ask where the gym is. "Gym?" God replies, "you don't need to go to the gym here, you'll always be in perfect shape even if you never exercise." The wife says how nice that is, but...

Either my wife genuinely thinks she's a goldfish...

Or she's just acting Koi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow and I am genuinely terrified that the chute won't open.

Last time something that big hit the earth, the fucking dinosaurs got wiped out.

The Robot Family.

It's a big night for XR-573, the patriarch of the robot family. Not only are all three of his sons going to be over for dinner for the first time in years, but all three of them have brand new fiancées! XR-573 and his wife Z7-271 are both very excited to see their children and learn all about their ...

Yo mama so fat

>!We’re genuinely worried about her. That kind of lifestyle is unhealthy. You should encourage her to walk more and lay off the Ben&Jerry’s.!<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I participated in a joke writing competition on this sub three years ago.

The mods laid out 4 simple rules quite clearly:

1. For the following two days, all posts on this sub would be considered as entries for the competition.

2. The post with the most upvotes would be declared as the winner, i.e., the best joke. The number of upvotes until the end o...

I genuinely complemented on a coworkers moustache,

Now she's making a big deal with HR about it.

If you're genuinely asking me to choose between my career as a reporter and our relationship

Well then I've got some news for you

Some sad news today.

After seven years of medical training, my friend has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer do the job he loves. What a waste of training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.

In an alternate reality, bears speak and coexist with humans.

A prominent electrician (who happened to be a bear) employed several humans for various positions within his company. Some were in customer service, handling the phones. Others were on-site technicians who drove around town from job to job. One human, Mike, was hired to do two different jobs inside ...

What are some genuinely funny jokes?

The Students of MBBS were attending
Their 1st Anatomy
Class,
They all Gathered around the Surgery
Table with a Real Dead
Dog,
..
The Professor put His Finger in Dog's
a#s & Tastes it in His
own Mouth,
Then He asks the Students to do
the Same,
The students Hesi...

My mother-in-law came into work at lunch time today, and I must admit unlike other men, I was genuinely pleased to see her.

By the way I’m an undertaker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A train hits a bus full of Catholic highschool girls

They all arrive at the pearly gates, waiting in line to enter heaven.

St. Peter asks the first girl, "Mary, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Well, dip the tip of your f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Sensitive Man

A man and a woman meet in a singles bar. They chat, they click, they connect. The fellow proposes that they continue their discussion over drinks at his place. The woman agrees.

They arrive at his apartment, and the woman is genuinely pleasantly surprised to see that, unlike a lot of bache...

A simple but funny joke that came from my 100 year old great grandmother last night

She leans in to my mom and says
“When is Mother’s Day?”

My mom thought she was genuinely asking because she forgot, but she then says
“Nine months after fathers night”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I (31m) just had the most uncomfortable experience of my life

I've always kinda wanted an iPhone but never had one before, so I go to the Apple Store to have a look. So there I am, when this middle aged guy comes up next to me, like really close. And then he starts asking me if I like the new iPhone, what do I think about the camera, am I thinking of getting o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sits down He asks the barkeep "If I can show you something you have never seen before, can I drink here for free tonight?"

The barkeep thinks about it and says "well I have seen a lot of stuff, if you can genuinely show me something I have not seen before, I will pick up your tab tonight".

So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a minature piano and sets it on the bar, then he reaches into his other pock...

What did Darth Vader say under the tree?

Luke... I feel your presents...

My sister just told this to me, and I genuinely laughed at it so I thought it belonged here!

There are 10 types of people

Those who didn’t look at it, those who thought it was a binary joke, those who didn’t get it but upvoted anyway, those who didn’t get it and downvoted, those who didn’t get it and commented to say it, those who reposted mindlessly, those who reposted with credit, those who fit into more than one of ...

Just went to the doctor and found out I'm colour blind

Genuinely can't believe it, this has come completely out of the green

Who wants to hear my joke about paper?

It's genuinely tearable!

I'm afraid my wife might be a vampire.

She like to stay out all night, all of her guy friends invite her over before she can visit them and she always seems genuinely concerned when I try to stab her with a wooden stake.

This is the only joke I know. Spooktober appropriate.

A cemetery caretaker is feeling ill after a long day's work and decides to head into town to get some medicine before going to bed.

It is still pretty light out and the drug store is only a few miles from his house on the graveyard property, so he decides the walk might do him some good. ...

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I genuinely just copied and pasted this off the weight watchers website

Alan Loved his tractors

Alan has been a fan of tractors since he was a young boy. He grew up on a farm and was obsessed with the giant machines. He ate, slept and drank tractors, his room was covered with posters of them, bed sheets, t-shirts, the whole works.

He met a girl, fell in love and eventually got married....

Who's that band?

A little bar in a small town was having a concert night and most of the town showed up. They were curious to see who in this town of everyone-knows-everyone would go up and perform.

The barman introduced up on stage a couple of highschool kids, the Little Rascals, that were going through the...

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