Genuinely Jokes - 28 Hilarious Genuinely Jokes

I saw my girlfriend naked for the first time and genuinely loved it. ()

Although saying "This was a lot to take in" wasn't the right choice of words.

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My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow and I am genuinely terrified that the chute won't open.

Last time something that big hit the earth, the dinosaurs got wiped out.

Either my wife genuinely thinks she's a goldfish...

Or she's just acting Koi.

If you're genuinely asking me to choose between my career as a reporter and our relationship

Well then I've got some news for you

I genuinely complemented on a coworkers moustache,

Now she's making a big deal with HR about it.

8 year old son's greatest joke

My son told me this joke years ago and it still is my favourite joke. He came home from school one day and says 'Dad, I have a joke for you.' I said, oh yes, let's hear it. Very low expectations at this point. He said 'Why did the chicken cross the road?', I replied with the usual, 'I don't know son...

What are some genuinely funny jokes?

The Students of MBBS were attending
Their 1st Anatomy
Class,
They all Gathered around the Surgery
Table with a Real Dead
Dog,
..
The Professor put His Finger in Dog's
a#s & Tastes it in His
own Mouth,
Then He asks the Students to do
the Same,
The students Hesi...

My mother-in-law came into work at lunch time today, and I must admit unlike other men, I was genuinely pleased to see her.

By the way I’m an undertaker.

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A man walks into a bar and sits down He asks the barkeep "If I can show you something you have never seen before, can I drink here for free tonight?"

The barkeep thinks about it and says "well I have seen a lot of stuff, if you can genuinely show me something I have not seen before, I will pick up your tab tonight".

So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a minature piano and sets it on the bar, then he reaches into his other pock...

Thanks to a very healthy lifestyle, a married couple live well into their 100s

One day they are both killed in a tragic accident, and go to heaven.

On the first morning, they go up to God and ask where the gym is. "Gym?" God replies, "you don't need to go to the gym here, you'll always be in perfect shape even if you never exercise." The wife says how nice that is, but...

What kind of animal makes the best shrinks?

Owls. They genuinely give a hoot.

My girlfriend wasn't sure if she liked her new hairstyle.

I told her to sleep on it.

Genuinely happened today. Was pretty proud of myself.

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Two lengths of tarmac (asphalt) walk into a pub

They strut up to the bar and order a couple of Guinness and after a few gulps each begin to tell the barman how hard they are.

Having heard it all before but happy for the company, the barman encourages them and pours another two pints of Guinness.

By their third pint, their tales are ...

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot (this is genuinely one of my all time favourites of this genre of joke)

Yo mama so fat

>!We’re genuinely worried about her. That kind of lifestyle is unhealthy. You should encourage her to walk more and lay off the Ben&Jerry’s.!<

Just went to the doctor and found out I'm colour blind

Genuinely can't believe it, this has come completely out of the green

The mule

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of their home. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly

to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship.

To no avail, she kept nagg...

Who wants to hear my joke about paper?

It's genuinely tearable!

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A park ranger catches a hunter in the act of eating a spotted owl. Feathers and bones surround his campfire.

The ranger says, "The spotted owl is a highly endangered species. Killing one is a federal crime."

The man says, "Yes, I admit that I killed and ate that owl. However, in my defense, I was lost in the wilderness for three days and frankly I was starving. The bird flew directly at me; I raised...

I'm afraid my wife might be a vampire.

She like to stay out all night, all of her guy friends invite her over before she can visit them and she always seems genuinely concerned when I try to stab her with a wooden stake.

What did Darth Vader say under the tree?

Luke... I feel your presents...

My sister just told this to me, and I genuinely laughed at it so I thought it belonged here!

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I genuinely just copied and pasted this off the weight watchers website

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With quarantine over, I decided to book a flight, and foolishly hoped that Delta’s customer service would’ve improved after the down time.

Instead, when I got to the airport, I waited forever in a line while a Delta employee physically assaulted each and every customer who approached the desk. When my turn came, the employee gave me a right hook to the jaw and waved the next customer forward.

“What the ?!” I shouted. “I w...

Personal trainer just got 10 years for dealing coke

I’ve been going to him for years. Just shows you never really know someone.

I genuinely had no idea he was a personal trainer

A tramp walks into a decorating store

A tramp walks into a home decorating shop.
The guy behind the counter greets him

"morning, what can I do for you today?"

"2 bottles of methylated spirits please!"

The guy has seen this before "no way buddy, I know your game, you're gonna drink em, it'll kill ya I won't have ...

There are 10 types of people

Those who didn’t look at it, those who thought it was a binary joke, those who didn’t get it but upvoted anyway, those who didn’t get it and downvoted, those who didn’t get it and commented to say it, those who reposted mindlessly, those who reposted with credit, those who fit into more than one of ...

How does an atheist commit suicide?

He puts the pedal to the floor and asks Jesus to take the wheel.

Sorry if this is a repost. I genuinely believed I thought it up all by myself.

Yo mama's so fat...

I'm genuinely concerned about her health

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