Why should you muzzle a wounded sheep?

To help stop the bleating

Bought a new muzzle for my pet duck today.

Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.

Vets waiting room

Two dogs in a vets waiting room. 1st dog is old, grey around the muzzle has a bad limp and smells bad.

2nd dog, much younger, says to the old dog, '' Why are you here today '' Old dog replies, ''I am going to be put to sleep, i'm in very bad health, and my time has come''

Young dog...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 stoners buy a horse

3 stoners buy a horse.

They go home with the horse and make it stay in the living room.

One of the friends pull out a bong and they all take hits until they're stoned.

While stoned they come up with an idea to have fun with the horse.

They attach a feeding muzzle onto the...

A woman walks into a pet store...

And eyes a beautiful parrot with a muzzle on its beak. She's curious about the muzzle and asks a clerk why the parrot was muzzled. The clerk tells her that the parrot once belonged to a very salty pirate and that it has the filthiest mouth he's ever heard.
She sees the possibility of a discount ...

An elderly woman went into her back yard to garden one afternoon when she noticed a large gorilla in a tree...

In a state of panic she ran inside and opened up the phone book and went to G's. Sure enough, she found gorilla extraction.

When the extractor showed up, he went into the back yard and saw the gorilla, eyeing them both out of suspicion.

The extractor went back to his truck and pul...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was 10

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumb...

An Englishman, Frenchman and American are caught by a tribe of Cannibals....

And cannot escape. They do however get to chose the method of their deaths.

the American goes first, surrounded by the tribe, his friends tied up watching, he asks for his shotgun and one shell. He declares "Long live the dollar and the American way!" And puts the muzzle up under his chin and...

How do you get Akbar to shut up?

Muzzle'm.

How does Donald Trump plan to silence the terrorists?

Muzzle 'em

The Great Jamboni

The great Jamboni, eccentric human cannonball known for taking his lucky donkey to all his performances, escaped near tragedy today when the donkey climbed into the cannon muzzle just as Jamboni was taking off. It took the surgeons three hours to remove Jamboni’s head from his ass

A man went to the vet for advice to curb his racist dog that kept barking at his Asian neighbour.

"Muzzle him" the vet advised.

The man paused, and exclaimed, "could be, he does have a big beard"

Death of an Eel

Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious.

He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to J...

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