Did you hear the one about the structural engineer's first day on the job?

It was riveting.

My job title is "Thermal Generation Engineer for Recumbent Structural Apparatus."

I keep a chair warm.

I've got a friend who is a structural engineer.

He's always complaining about stress at work.

My friend is a structural engineer.

He is always complaining about stress at work.

A building inspector for an old European town found that all buildings built between 1584 and 1750 had significant structural flaws.

Otherwise, if it ain't Baroque, don't fix it.

Say what you want about the structural integrity of the Titanic

At least the pool is still full

Structural Integrity.

What did the bridge engineer say when someone doubted his bridge's structural integrity?

"You're gonna have to truss me on this one."

A structural engineer walked into a bar...

...this is when he realised his building design was flawed.

Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering...

Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.

My girlfriend is a structurally vital wall

Because she bears my load

Three engineers argue about who designed the human body

"Look at all the supports and joints... " said the first engineer, "... it must have been a structural engineer."

"No, no, it was an electrical engineer; just look at the nervous system and all its connections and wiring." said the second engineer.

"Both of you are wrong" exclaimed th...

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “Lawyer,” and the party of the second part, also known as “Light Bulb,” do hereby and forthwith agree t...

Structural Engineering

Because architects don’t know what physics is.

Three Engineers are Discussing God

The structural engineer says "I think God must've been a structural engineer. The musculoskeletal system is perfectly designed to allow us to walk upright."

The electrical engineer says "Interesting, but you are obviously wrong. God is an electrical engineer. The nervous system is so compl...

From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.

A group of Engineers are in a bar and the conversation turns to religion,...

The System Engineer says, "God must be an Systems Engineer, look at the design of the human nervous system. Millions of signals flying back and forward at enormous speeds, all controlled by a massively powerful processing system that can make billions of calculations every second. Only the greatest ...

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A German engineer, an Indian engineer, and a Chinese engineer die and go to Heaven

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter is there to greet them.

"As part of our skilled migration scheme, you will each have to propose a design for a planned 200 storey mixed-use development here in Heaven. The person with the most attractive proposal will be granted entry into Heaven. You have 4 day...

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Two guys were sitting in a bar near the top of the Empire State Building

Two guys were sitting in a bar near the top floor of the Empire State Building, having drinks and small talk.
The first guy says, "Man, this building is a structural anomaly."

Then the second. "Yeah, it's amazing how people can build something like this."

"No, you don't understand....

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