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Structural Jokes

I've got a friend who is a structural engineer.

He's always complaining about stress at work.

Structural Integrity.

What did the bridge engineer say when someone doubted his bridge's structural integrity?

"You're gonna have to truss me on this one."

Did you hear the one about the structural engineer's first day on the job?

It was riveting.

My job title is "Thermal Generation Engineer for Recumbent Structural Apparatus."

I keep a chair warm.

From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.

The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a s...

My friend is a structural engineer.

He is always complaining about stress at work.

Say what you want about the structural integrity of the Titanic

At least the pool is still full

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why should you respect pornstars more than structural engineers?

Most pornstars I've seen are better at handling distributed loads.

Structural Engineering

Because architects don’t know what physics is.

(This is not a joke) I'm a linguistic researcher that is working on the semiotic of jokes and need help to find exemples of a particular type of joke.

Hi, I hope this is not against the rules but I need help for a research paper centered around jokes, and this obviously looks like a good place for that.

I am working on linguistic structuralism to try to find the linguistic value of surprise in a joke. (I'm simplifying a lot, but i can expla...

A structural engineer walked into a bar...

...this is when he realised his building design was flawed.

My girlfriend is a structurally vital wall

Because she bears my load

Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering...

Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement. Whereas the party of the first part, who will be henceforth be addressed as 'the lawyers' and the party of the second part, henceforth addressed as 'th...

What's a civil engineer's favorite type of tea?

Structural integri-tea

Engineer and anti-vaxxer

An engineer, an anti-vaxxer, and others were walking through the woods when they came upon a crocodile infested river.

The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that river safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural ...

Three engineers argue about who designed the human body

"Look at all the supports and joints... " said the first engineer, "... it must have been a structural engineer."

"No, no, it was an electrical engineer; just look at the nervous system and all its connections and wiring." said the second engineer.

"Both of you are wrong" exclaimed th...

Three Engineers are Discussing God

The structural engineer says "I think God must've been a structural engineer. The musculoskeletal system is perfectly designed to allow us to walk upright."

The electrical engineer says "Interesting, but you are obviously wrong. God is an electrical engineer. The nervous system is so compl...

A group of Engineers are in a bar and the conversation turns to religion,...

The System Engineer says, "God must be an Systems Engineer, look at the design of the human nervous system. Millions of signals flying back and forward at enormous speeds, all controlled by a massively powerful processing system that can make billions of calculations every second. Only the greatest ...

I think this Deadpool movie is going to really bring down the house.

Having only three walls isn't good for their structural integrity.

3 Engineers are discussing what type of engineer God is...

Engineer #1

Obviously a Structural Engineer,like me. Look at the skeleton! Its art!

Engineer #2

Obviously a Electrical Engineer, like me. Look at the Nervous System! Genius!

Engineer #3

He's not a City Planner, like me... You Never put a waste treatment center...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys were sitting in a bar near the top of the Empire State Building

Two guys were sitting in a bar near the top floor of the Empire State Building, having drinks and small talk.
The first guy says, "Man, this building is a structural anomaly."

Then the second. "Yeah, it's amazing how people can build something like this."

"No, you don't understand....

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