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Utilitarian Jokes

I'm currently dating a utilitarian.

She knows that I'd rather not, but she insists we date anyway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I've become a utilitarian," I told my wife.

"What the does that mean?" she asked.

Then I pushed forward the divorce papers.

How many Utilitarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

It depends on the situation.
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