This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I've become a utilitarian," I told my wife.

"What the fuck does that mean?" she asked.

Then I pushed forward the divorce papers.

I'm currently dating a utilitarian.

She knows that I'd rather not, but she insists we date anyway.

How many Utilitarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

It depends on the situation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese Toilet

I'm from the UK. My best mate from uni moved to Japan a few years ago for work, he's settled down there and married a nice Japanese girl. Whenever he's been back over, he's always invited me to come and visit them, and this year I finally had the chance.

The flight over was great, the ride fr...

A philosophy of bar etiquette.

A utilitarian, a deontologist and a solipsist walk in to a bar.
The utilitarian goes up to the bartender and orders a round of drinks for the bar. Raising his glass, he says "To happiness and the good life!"
After they finish the first round, the deontologist also orders a round for the bar...

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