to prevent theft, the declaration of independence is now locked

in a nicolas cage

This 4th of July, the British should celebrate Independence Day too.

Now they feel like they dodged a bullet.

Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?

Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?

Cuz freedom \*rings\*

Today we celebrate Independence Day!

For those that don't know their history, this was the day in 1996 that Will Smith saved the Earth from aliens.

My sister made 44 cupcakes with an assortment of red, white, and blue frosting for an Independence Day dinner.

"Why 44?" I asked her. "Because that's the number of real presidents this country has actually had?"

(This actually just happened.)

My ex said my package was like the Declaration of Independence.

because it could be mailed with just a stamp

What’s the largest export of Great Britain?

Independence days

I heard Scotland wants another independence referendum.

I guess we’ll get away with leaving the EU scot-free after all.

In the year 2045 Elon is tired of importing ice-cream from Earth to the Martian colonies.

The next day he puts a group of dairy cows on a rocket to Mars.

But inter-planetary customs officers make him hold the rocket in orbit while they inspect the cows. Earth leaders don't want to lose the tax revenue from exporting ice-cream and are looking for a reason to reposes his cattle. ...

It’s a little-known fact that, after signing the Declaration of Independence, the Founding Fathers collectively dropped their pants, pointing their posteriors toward England

Thus the motto “E pluribus moon ‘em”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of America's upcoming Independence Day, do you know why America spells "behavior", "color", and "humor" the way they do?

Because **fuck u**, that's why!

I should have known my relationship was doomed when my girlfriend made me watch the Vietnamese Independence Day parade.

There were so many red flags.

Today I'm going to celebrate Independence Day......

Or as my two children like to call it,

"The day mummy joined the angels."

Where is the freedom of a slave whose hobby is making necklaces?

Independence.

Scotland's Independence

David Cameron has said Scotland could become a third world country if they become independent.
I'm not sure if things will improve to that degree, but you never know

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Happy Independence Day

This 4th of July please remember it's not "firecracker"

This Independence Day, please remember it's not "firecracker," that term is very offensive to some people. It's "fire-caucasian." Thank you.

Independence day.

Doctor: would you say you are independent?
Me: *looks over to mom*
Mom: *nods*
Me: yes, I am.

Catalonia declared independence. What now?

Everybody expects the Spanish imposition.

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese!


(Happy [Bastille Day](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastille_Day)!)

Totos is wondering why he failed the test since he answered all questions correct:

1. In which battle did Leonidas die?

\- His last one.



2. Where did the Declaration of Independence was signed?

\- At the bottom of the page.



3. If you throw a stone in the lake, what will happen?

\- It will get wet.



4. How can some...

What is the difference between Will Smith and Scotland ?

Independence Day

China: Hey Hong Kong, wanna hear a joke?

HK: Sure thing

China: Independence

HK: I don’t get it

China: And you never will.

What does a woman want?

Equality
Safety
Education
Independence
Nutrition
Love

What does a man want?
Woman

Happy Woman’s Day!!

What's the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th?

There isn't any, at least to me, because they're both Independence Day.

Once a Bright and Intelligent young man went for an IAS (Indian Civil Service) interview

Once a Bright and Intelligent young man went for an IAS (Indian Civil Service) interview.

He was asked -

Q 1. When did India get Independence?

He answered - The efforts started long back; but could succeed in 1947.

Q 2. Who were the persons, who played important role in ...

Irishman steps up on Mastermind, the quiz show. His chosen topic: the Irish Rebellion, 1916.

- **Quizmaster**: 'Your first question: who read the *Proclamation of Independence* from the steps of the GPO?'

- **Contestant**: 'Pass'

- **Quizmaster**: 'OK. Second question: name the Irish rebel leader born in Scotland.'

- **Contestant**: 'Pass'

- **Quizmaster**: 'Ques...

My wife must be feeling patriotic today...

... because she just declared her independence.

Little Johnny’s teacher gives an oral history quiz

She asked little Johnny, “who signed the Declaration of Independence?" Little Johnny said, "Damned if I know." She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back.

Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the back of th...

The Final Exam

The weekend before their big history final, four college buddies decided to go to St. Louis to party with friends. However, after partying all night, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Springfield until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking their history final then, they...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.