to prevent theft, the declaration of independence is now locked

in a nicolas cage

The U.K. government have predicted that Scotland could become a “third world country” if they gain independence.

I don’t know if things will improve to that extent but fingers crossed for them.

On the subject of American independence, did you know that the Revolution was initially viewed as a breach of contract?

They heard that the Americans violated the teas and seas.

This 4th of July, the British should celebrate Independence Day too.

Now they feel like they dodged a bullet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Independence Day

I gave my girlfriend a locket with a tiny American flag inside to help commemorate the 4th.

She graciously accepted and said, “Thank you, but I’m independent and don’t need gifts.”

In return, she offered a blowjob. I graciously accepted and came on her neck.

She asked, “Why d...

My daughter was born this morning, July 4th.

It’s the day I lost my independence.



(This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well).

A Russian spy infiltrated in America is arrested

A Russian spy under the alias of “Joe Smith” is arrested by American officials. He is put in an interrogation room and confronted by an official, Agent Perry.

Smith: “I don’t understand, why am I being interrogated?”

Perry: “Drop the act, Smith, if that even is your real name. We know ...

Where was the declaration of independence signed?

On the bottom of the page.

Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?

Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?

Cuz freedom \*rings\*

My ex said my package was like the Declaration of Independence.

because it could be mailed with just a stamp

UK is a very generous country

It is the largest supplier of Independence day to countries around the world.

My sister made 44 cupcakes with an assortment of red, white, and blue frosting for an Independence Day dinner.

"Why 44?" I asked her. "Because that's the number of real presidents this country has actually had?"

(This actually just happened.)

Today we celebrate Independence Day!

For those that don't know their history, this was the day in 1996 that Will Smith saved the Earth from aliens.

I heard Scotland wants another independence referendum.

I guess we’ll get away with leaving the EU scot-free after all.

What’s the largest export of Great Britain?

Independence days

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of America's upcoming Independence Day, do you know why America spells "behavior", "color", and "humor" the way they do?

Because **fuck u**, that's why!

It’s a little-known fact that, after signing the Declaration of Independence, the Founding Fathers collectively dropped their pants, pointing their posteriors toward England

Thus the motto “E pluribus moon ‘em”

Pluses in the Soviet Union

Two Ukrainians are drinking together. Between shots of vodka, they are discussing many issues. One of the men was but a very young child when the Soviet Union dissolved and Ukraine and the other former member states gained their independence. Having very little recollection of what life was like bac...

I should have known my relationship was doomed when my girlfriend made me watch the Vietnamese Independence Day parade.

There were so many red flags.

Catalonia declared independence. What now?

Everybody expects the Spanish imposition.

After what happened at the U.S. Captiol

I am no longer impressed that Nicholas Cage managed to steal the Declaration of Independence.

A mother was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school alone

He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She knew she needed to give him the feeling that he had some independence, but at the same time she wanted him to feel safe. So, she came up with an idea that would satisfy both objectives. She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would follow her son...

Independence day.

Doctor: would you say you are independent?
Me: *looks over to mom*
Mom: *nods*
Me: yes, I am.

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese!


(Happy [Bastille Day](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastille_Day)!)

This 4th of July please remember it's not "firecracker"

This Independence Day, please remember it's not "firecracker," that term is very offensive to some people. It's "fire-caucasian." Thank you.

The Kurds want independence

but they can't always get their whey.

If Alcoholics Had Written The Declaration Of Independence

would we have government of the pickled, by the pickled, and for the pickled?

In the year 2045 Elon is tired of importing ice-cream from Earth to the Martian colonies.

The next day he puts a group of dairy cows on a rocket to Mars.

But inter-planetary customs officers make him hold the rocket in orbit while they inspect the cows. Earth leaders don't want to lose the tax revenue from exporting ice-cream and are looking for a reason to reposes his cattle. ...

Where is the freedom of a slave whose hobby is making necklaces?

Independence.

What does a woman want?

Equality
Safety
Education
Independence
Nutrition
Love

What does a man want?
Woman

Happy Woman’s Day!!

Totos is wondering why he failed the test since he answered all questions correct:

1. In which battle did Leonidas die?

\- His last one.



2. Where did the Declaration of Independence was signed?

\- At the bottom of the page.



3. If you throw a stone in the lake, what will happen?

\- It will get wet.



4. How can some...

What's the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th?

There isn't any, at least to me, because they're both Independence Day.

Irishman steps up on Mastermind, the quiz show. His chosen topic: the Irish Rebellion, 1916.

- **Quizmaster**: 'Your first question: who read the *Proclamation of Independence* from the steps of the GPO?'

- **Contestant**: 'Pass'

- **Quizmaster**: 'OK. Second question: name the Irish rebel leader born in Scotland.'

- **Contestant**: 'Pass'

- **Quizmaster**: 'Ques...

Once a Bright and Intelligent young man went for an IAS (Indian Civil Service) interview

Once a Bright and Intelligent young man went for an IAS (Indian Civil Service) interview.

He was asked -

Q 1. When did India get Independence?

He answered - The efforts started long back; but could succeed in 1947.

Q 2. Who were the persons, who played important role in ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.