UPJOKE
determinismvolitionindeterminismdiscretionpredestinationfatechoiceincompatibilismcompatibilismphysicalismdestinylibertarianismadvicepersuasionliberty

A Calvinist arrived at the Gates of Heaven.

He sees that there are two lines going in. One has a sign that reads "predestined," and the other, "free will". He naturally heads to the predestined line.

While waiting, an angel comes and asks him "Why are you in this line?"

He replies, "Because I chose it."

The angel looks su...

A religious man asks an athiest, “Do we have free will?”

Atheist: “We do, but only because we have no choice!”

"Siri, do you have free will?"

"I am programmed to say 'Yes'."

I believe in the idea of a Free Will.

I just really don't think he should be behind bars. Free Will!

A Calvinist dies and goes to Heaven

He sees two doors. One is labeled free will, and the other is predestination. He walks through the predestination door and an angel asks him why he was here. The Calvanist replies, "I saw this door and decided to walk through it." The angel replies, "You can't be here, you chose this."

Dejec...

A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven

A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives, he sees two lines to get in. One is labeled "Predestination" and one is labeled "Free Will". So, being a Calvinist, he goes to the back of the Predestination line and waits for his turn.

When he gets to the front of the line, the angel loo...

Groaner

Man: My wife and I went to the Caribbean.

Random guy: Jamaica?

Man: No she did it out of her own free will.

The Kings Servant was walking towards the castle, when he saw a man lying on the side of the path.

The servant asked if the man was ok, and he replies:

"Oh, hi, I'm Will. Nice to meet you! Would you like to buy me?

"What, you mean like a servant?" says the King's servant.

"No, just to have me around"

The servant was lonely, as he had to work day and night for the king,...

The cruel god cursed his creations with dyslexia, but nothing happened since they could do no wrong while fully under his control.

So he gave all of them free will – and the first thing his creations did was deicide.

A programmer rubs a lamp and a genie appears

Genie: "Alright I'm gonna make this short. You can't ask for more wishes, you can't change free will, and you only get one wish. Choose wisely."

Programmer: "I wish to use a wish."

Genie: "Granted, you now have 4,294,967,295 wishes."

TIL that for writing your last wishes you need to hire a lawyer and that it can easily become quite expensive.

What happened to free will?

The West Indies

"My wife's gone to the West Indies."
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own free will."

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