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Forklift Jokes

Why did the new guy put cows on a forklift?

Because his supervisor told him they are “raising the stakes”

What do forklifts and girls have in common ?

If you don't have one, you'll have to unload by hand.

What do you call something that can't be forklifted?

Unpalletable

I got my forklift licence yesterday.

Eating salad is gonna be way easier

What’s a forklift?

Food, usually...

What do you call a lawyer who is forklift certified?

A shyster on a Hyster!

I used to be a forklift operator

…but there were way too many ups and downs for me.

So I got a job for a while resurfacing ice rinks, although I never really warmed to it.

I got some work fixing clocks that were running slowly, but I found the hours were just too long.

And when I tried my hand at being a baker...

Why is the forklift operator at the distillery you own always so nice to you?

Because it's his job to lift your spirits.

A man in the forklift business sat next to me on a plane. He asked, "what do women and forklifts have in common?"

Without either, you're left to unload by hand

My dad met a group of forklift operators today

He said they were very uplifting

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fella goes to a building site to see if there are any jobs going.

"Maybe," says the foreman. "Can you make tea?"

"Sure," says the fella, "I can make tea like a pro."

"Okay," says the foreman, "can you drive a forklift?"

"Fuck me!" says the fella, "how big is the teapot?!"

Job Security

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Joe was hired by a warehouse.

One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock.

Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold 10 percent of Joe's wages to pay for the re...

I had a hilarious joke about how a forklift implies the existence of a spoonlift.

Then I realized that's just a catapult.

Jack and Jim are busy stocking the aisles at Sams Club...

They're stacking pallets of Lipton's. They're about to put the last pallet on top when the forklift breaks down.
"Oh NO!", Jim exclaims, "How will we get this last pallet on top without killing ourselves?"
"Don't Worry", says Jack," just go pick up one of those disposable Bic's on the sh...

What’s an obese person’s favorite workout?

^forklifts ¨̮

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A trucker drives through some industrial estate,

He stops near a warehouse and ten minutes later a prostitute approaches nearby.

"50 and I'll do anything, love."

The trucker stares at her up and down.

"deal, grab the forklift and start unloading the truck."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was watching some construction workers today

outside my office building. They were laying down a bunch of grass.

I saw a forklift come in carrying rolls of grass, when all of a sudden a huge bulldozer came out of nowhere and crashed full speed into the forklift. Both the driver of the forklift and the grass went flying...

It was...

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Bloke goes for a job on a building site

Foreman says ‘important things first, can you make a cup of tea?’
‘Yeah’ he replies
‘Good’ says the foreman, ‘can you drive a forklift?’
He says ‘Why? How bigs the fucking tea pot?’

The following is highly NSFW

My forklift driver arrived to the job blackout drunk

At my workplace, there's a forklift that we all call "The Libertarian"

The steering doesn't work properly, so whenever you try to use it, it immediately makes a hard right and breaks something important.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got to the factory this morning ready for my usual day of boxing up milk cartons, when...

my boss walked up to me and said, "I'm afraid there was a problem last night. Some idiot on a forklift dropped the sugar in to the milk condenser."

"Oh, shit", I said, "how much was contaminated?"

"I'm not gonna lie," he said, "... all of it... I'm afraid that for the rest of the day, ...

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Local knowledge

A cocky young lad applied for a forklift job at a local firm based in his home town.
A migrant worker applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.
When the results we...

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The Giant Tapeworm

The fattest man in the world was proud of his accomplishment, he made a good living doing interviews and doing meet and greets for people in awe of his size. He noticed over time he was suddenly losing weight rapidly through no effort of his own. He ate more to compensate but still continued drop...

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