Judo - it's the art of folding clothes perfectly...

...while the people are still in them.

I recall the time years ago when my friend and I went on our secret spy mission. Like any other highly trained operatives, we were tasked with infiltrating the local mattress store.

It had been reported several times for housing a suspicious number of fans. (a Code 182).

Per our orders, my partner and I snuck into the establishment, taking up hiding under the blankets of some nearby display beds. Sure enough, the place was crawling with fans: ceiling fans, upright fans,...

Now that Laundry Folding Machine has been invented

Theres no used getting married.

What do you call an old lady folding paper?

Ori-Grammi

TIL you can make a gyro by folding a crepe in half instead of pita bread. But you don't have to do it this way. Because

not all gyros wear crepes

Since you like Dad jokes. Here's one I laid on my wife while she was folding my infant daughters clothes.

Wife: Could you go and grab the baby hangers?

Me: They prefer to be called executioners.

Why are origami artists terrible at poker?

They are constantly folding

My friend just became the World Champion in competitive origami.

He’s great at folding under pressure.

Every time I fold laundry I contemplate becoming a nudist...

...then I remember what I look like naked and keep folding.

In honor of St. Paddy

An Irishman who had a little **too much to drink** Is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A **cop pulls him over**.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "**Where have ya been?"**
" Why, I've been **to the pub of course*...

Little bit of a read but funny

(Im from Louisiana and we usually use Boudreaux and Thibadeaux as our characters with our cajun accent but for joke purposes ill use tim and matt)
Tim and Matt went to see a wrestling match at a local arena. There was a famous wrestler in town called the Human Pretzel (due to his special move fol...

How many shop stewards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five. One to change the lightbulb and four to sit on folding chairs and watch. You got a problem with that?

I went down to the patent office trying to register some of my inventions earlier today and walked up to the main desk to sign in when the lady pulled out a form to fill out. She asked for my personal info, wrote it down and then asked me what I had invented...

I said, 'A folding bottle.'

She said, 'Okay. What do you call it?'

'A fottle.'

'What else do you have there?'

'A folding carton.'

'OK, what do you call it?'

'A farton.'

She chuckled and said, 'Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds ...

A man and his wife die in a car accident.

The man is greeted by Death. "Choose your game", says Death, "win and you will get a second chance at life, lose and you will die".

As an avid poker player, its an easy choice for the man. 

As they begin, the man loses the first few hands.

As the next hand is drawn, the man i...

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