Damn girl are you a smoke detector?

Because you're super annoying and won't shut up

Not to worry. I was only testing the smoke detectors.

On a totally unrelated subject. Supper is ready.

I don't need to check my smoke detectors every month

because my wife cooks more often than that

A Thanksgiving day tip

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How did Thanksgiving go at your place?" the bartender asks. "Oh, it went fine. Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. I helped out, though. She got a little stressed out and told me she needed some peace and quiet in the kitchen so she co...

Today I cooked something for my family and they all said it was terrible.

Jokes on them, the smoke detector thought it was fire.

I was hosting a dinner party and everyone thought my food was bad

Exept the smoke detector, that thought it was fire

(OC) An American chemist, a German chemist, and a French chemist are hanging out on a beach.

“Americium is the best element” brags the American chemist, “it’s used in smoke detectors and saves lives.”

“No way, germanium is way more awesome.” counters the German chemist, “without it, most electronic devices wouldn’t ever work.”

“Watch this, amateurs!” Says the French chemist, h...

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner

So I took the batteries out of the smoke detector.

Condom use on an aircraft

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight.
They start eying each other, and both realize they want to do the
same thing.
He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.
Rear toilet? He suggests.
Five minutes, she agrees and goes off.
He waits five mi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young comedian wanted to make himself famous, so he covered the interior of his house with Jokes

He wrote down every joke he ever knew on a paper each and taped them to everything in his house: the floor, the walls, the couch....etc.

However there was one joke which he thought was lame, so he threw it away somewhere in his house and forgot about it.

The Comedian started inviting s...

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