This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I know a guy who trained to be a vet and claims to have done extensive research on bovine faeces.

But I reckon thatโ€™s bullshit.

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his faeces on the wall.

I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.

You stupid idiots; I said cover your faeces

-- Love from Allah.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

There was once a couple who were very, very dumb.

They used to listen to everything said to them without thinking any deeper.

After about a year after their marriage, a beautiful baby boy was born to them. They decided to baptize him and name him according to a very popular astrologer's idea. So they took him to the astrologer's sanctum
<...

A Old, wealthy man had three sons.

He promised each of them that if they learned a new, 'exotic' skill, he would give them a fortune. So, they set out. They came to a river with 3 paths. They agreed to split up. The first brother learned to shoot tiny things like birds, flies, etc. The second one learned to fix things with a hammer. ...

My brother took going to jail really badly.

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own faeces. After that, we never played Monopoly again.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A 1st grade teacher brings his class out for a science field trip to the local park

At the park, one of the kids screams "oh look! There's a big doggy poo poo here!"

The teacher requests that the class gather around and explains

"Look kids, I just taught you about our five senses haven't I?

Don't just rely on one of your senses to observe the world. We have fiv...

Three long poos stretch down, one after the other, and silently enter the water without a splash

The toilet bowl says 'Why the long faeces?'

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An atheist and little girl were sitting next to each other on an aeroplane.

'Flight goes quicker when two aeroplane buddies chat to each other,' said the atheist to the little girl.

'What would I want to talk to you about?' replied the little girl.

'I dunno, maybe about how why there is no God.'

Now the girl believed in God and was also very smart indee...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Phil dies and is met by the Devil in front of three doors.

The Devil takes him to one side. 'Look, Phil,' he says, 'we're trying something out to cut down on admin down here. We used to assign punishments to the damned that fit their sins, but now we're letting people choose themselves.'

He gestures to the three doors. 'What I can do for you is this:...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Poop is walking down the street

Poop is walking down the street, blood boiling, ready to beat up Pee, when he meets Shit.

"Where you going?" Shit asks him

"To beat up Pee" he replies

"Can i come?"

"Sure"

So Poop and Shit are both walking down the street to Pee's house, ready to beat him up, when ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.