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A group of scientists was doing an experiment involving the bacteria in feces. They asked for donations of fecal matter from the public...

...but nobody gave a crap

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When John Wayne died, he had 40 pounds of fecal matter in his intestines.

It sounds like a lot of shit, but it's true.

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An American anthropologist is studying cultures throughout Western Africa.

He discovers an isolated civilization in the West African Jungle. It’s a small village with wooden houses and plenty of domesticated animals. The anthropologist is impressed by the organization of the village and becomes eager to learn more about the culture of it’s inhabitants.

He approa...

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I came up with this myself in the shower, hopefully hasn't been done before.

Two pieces of poop are arguing in the toilet bowl.

The piss gets _pissed_ by this and decides to ask them what they are arguing about.

The poop says, "Stay out of it, piss. It's fecal matter."

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Two pieces of poop are having a heated argument. A cup of urine tries to calm them down. One of the poops says “Hey, screw off...

...this is a fecal matter!”

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Watson and Holmes are on a unusual case

London has been struck by what the locals refer to as a mad pooper. His victims are found dead with fecal matter spread on their corpses. Everyone’s on edge, when another victim is found.
Watson and Holmes are summoned to the scene, and after a few minutes, Watson exclaims to his partner, “you’r...

A redneck mom puts shotgun shells in the family soup by mistake...

A redneck mom puts shotgun shells in the family soup by mistake...

At any rate, the family had nothing else they could eat, so they ate the soup as it was.

The next day in the morning, mom checked the baby's diaper. Shotgun pellets were apparent in the fecal matter.

The kinderga...

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Shit happens.

And fecal matters.

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A business owner is looking to have a painting commissioned...

He has this decently sized white wall in his office, and asks a local artist to paint a mural on it.

The artist asks, "Well, what kind of mural were you thinking?"

The owner is a huge American History buff. He thinks for a bit, about the revolutionary war, the civil war... he decides ...

I’ve been experimenting with iron, carbon, and aluminum to make a better toilet. I’m going to write a whitepaper on my results.

It’s titled “The FeCAl Matter.”

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