UPJOKE
myiasisgrublarvamosquitohouseflyflygnatpiophilidaedipteradebridementcalliphoridaeroundwormbotflyblowflylarvae

Maggots Jokes

Why is Mozart's dead body covered in maggots?

Maggots are "decomposers."

I was told that you catch more fish if you put maggots in your mouth for 5m before attaching them to your rod. Is this true?

I await your replies with baited breath.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three maggots are left crawling around at the bottom of a garbage bin.

One day they all turn into flies, one male and two female, and start buzzing around the inside of the bin.

The female, realising there's no practical way out, turns to the other female fly and says, "Hey how do you get out of the garbage bin?" The other female fly says, "I don't know maybe as...

What do vegetarian maggots eat?

Linda Mccartney...

What do dark jokes have in common with maggots?

It's a bad sign if they're coming out of your mouth.

What’s the difference of how boomers see gen z and how toxic gamers see other toxic gamers?

One thinks they are a bunch of fad maggots…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Basic Training in the Marines

On the first day of basic training in the marines, a drill instructor has new recruits lined up and is dressing them down.

He tells them “You aren’t men, you’re maggots!... you’re not even maggots! You’re a mite sucking a maggots dick! But in 6 weeks those of you who don’t quit are going...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Circle Of Life

Two cowboys, Bill and Joe, are riding their horses through the prairie. Joe says "Bill, what happens when we die?" Bill says "Well Joe, do you know about the circle of life?" "I recon I don't" says Joe. "Let me tell you." Says bill. "So say an Indian rides by right now and shoots an arrow through yo...

A millionaire wanted to eat something exotic

He rembered fried bugs being served at the last party he was on. He had taken a liking in them so he ordered his cook to prepare some worms for dinner.

That evening the millionaire was getting ready for his meal. His cook brought him a plate full of white maggots, althought something didn't s...

Epic Chinese Movie Translation

While on vacation and downloading a DVD copy of War of the Worlds (2005) I laugh so hard from the English subtitle of what I downloaded and it turns out that it was a Pirated copy of the War of the Worlds.

Ray: It's OK...
(Subtitle: Do not fine, you is just fine.)

Rachel: Is Robby...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man Dies and Goes to Hell

Upon his arrival, he is furious. He is roaring at the little imps that keep trying to drag him in, and demands to see his record.
Fed up, Satan goes up the man and says "Look, relax, man, it's Hell. We have all the sins down here! Look, you like to gamble, right?"

Flustered, the man resp...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Traveling Salesmen

One night a travelling salesman found that he had stayed on the road too long, and that he was stranded in the middle farm country with no place to sleep. Naturally, he sought refuge at the nearest farm house. The farmer agreed to let him stay, but only as long as "you don't sneak upstairs to my dau...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.