UPJOKE
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A man walks into an art museum...

...saunters past a guard and rips a painting off the wall with his bare hands. The guards attempt to stop him as he runs out of the museum, but he is too quick and acrobatic and evades all of their efforts. Just out the museum doors, he hops into the back of a white van that begins speeding away wit...

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So a man crashes his plane onto a deserted island...

After a while of being alone the man begins to grow incredibly horny. He spots a donkey off in the distance and decides to go for it. The donkey isn’t having any of it and quickly evades the man. Years go by and he still just can’t catch the damn donkey. One day an unconscious woman washes up on the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Happiness is just like a butterfly...

It always fucking evades you.

Christ is on the cross

He's calling out to Peter. 'Peter! Peter!' he shouts. Peter hears him and tries to get closer, but a Roman guard cuts off his arm and sends him packing. Christ calls out again. 'Peter! Peter!' he shouts. Again Peter tries to get closer but is again stopped by the Roman guard, who cuts off his other ...

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