100% rock-solid proof that Trump laundered Russian mob money through the Trump Organization:
\[removed by Federal government\]
A spy, an adulterer, and a guy who launders money for the Russian mob walk into a bar...
The bartender says "What'll it be, Mr. President?"
My wife saw me seperating my clothes into "whites" and "blacks" for the wash.
She accused me of Laundry Segregation but I much prefer to think of it as Ethnic Cleansing.
I've been laundering money for a few months now.
Seriously, this quarter has been in my washer for months
I have recently been involved in money laundering...
I had some coins in my pocket which I didn't realise untill there was a ticking sound coming from the dryer.
I accidentally laundered my headphones today
Now they smell nice and I'm getting some really clean sound.
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's Donald.
My neighbour used to sell Ukranian eggs.
If you don't know what those are, it's when you draw on eggs with wax and then soak them in coloured dyes to create special designs. It's an art form called Pysanky - you should look it up.
He used to sell them out of a little stall in his front garden. I never really saw many people bu...
My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.
“Son, you’re going to have to stop money laundering.”
I was folding my pants, fresh out the drier, and found a dollar in a pocket. Jesus Christ...
How long have I been laundering money?
Little Tony was the son of a well respected Mob boss.
One day, the Mob boss decides he wants to test his son to see if the boy has what it takes to lead the family business. "Little Tony," he asks. "If you received stolen money, and you were looking for a place to hide it, where would you stash it so the cops could never get it?"
Little Tony thi...
My dad had the ultimate dad joke...
When we were little, he'd tell us how we had to remember to take our wallets out of our jeans when we put in the washing machine.
Because that's laundering money.
Did you hear about that shady massage parlor run by bears?
Yeah, turns out it was just a front for honey laundering
A man was at the laundromat
to do his laundry. He saw that it was going to take a few hours so he went to Subway to grab a bite. He was about to pay when he realized he left his wallet at the laundromat.
He went back and he saw police cars around. The man was arrested.
"Money laundering is illegal, buddy", said t...
Can you explain this strange adoption joke?
A close friend of mine who is my eldest daughter's godmother just posted a very strange joke that references adoption. There must be something to this joke that I am completely missing. Thirty people have gone wild over this and I don't get it. My friend can't possibly be saying something offensive ...
President Trump walks into a local bank in New York to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"
"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Grandads new care home
I recently took my grandad to a care home for him to have a look around and maybe spend a night to see if he liked it.
When we arrived we were greeted by a truly stunning Swedish nurse who took my grandad to look around his room whilst I filled in some paperwork.
He told me she showed ...
I was arrested for washing my pants without taking the cash out of my pockets.
They charged me for laundering money.
My wife threatened to call the cops if I didn't start checking the pockets of our clothes when I did laundry.
I asked "And what exactly do you expect them to charge me with?"
She said, "Money laundering."
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I turned myself into the police.
The Crime? Money Laundering. I just couldn't take it anymore, the guilt was eating at me and I needed to finally face my crimes.
I went into the station and explained that I had been money laundering for decades. They said they wanted an official statement and sat me down in a room with a tab...
Why does the buck stop with Trump?
After that, it gets laundered and is untraceable
The blinds store
So there's this store down the street called "Bailey's Blinds", and I can't help but wonder that it must be a front for some sort of illegal activity. Money laundering, perhaps? Or maybe it's an incognito hub for illicit products of some nature. I mean, how can a business possibly function for over ...
A woman went to the dry-cleaners...
...to pick up a dress she'd had laundered.
The man behind the counter hands over her garment and just as she's about to leave he says "come again".
With that the woman turns round and says "no, it was just toothpaste this time".