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Colleges Jokes

Freshman from rival colleges...

...were each camping out around their fires on opposite banks of a river.

The freshman on the left bank got to talking. The first student points toward the river and says, "You know, I heard that the students that go to that school are all idiots."

The second student says "Yeah! I hear...

Most colleges have a women's studies major, but mine has a men's studies major too

It's called "history"

A high school senior visits a psychic...

"I've applied to 10 different colleges," the student said. "Which ones will accept me? Which one will I attend?"

"That is hard to say," said the psychic. "But you will spend an absurd sum of money."

"How do you know this?" the student asked.

The psychic replied,

"It's mo...

What course do pirates take in colleges?

Arrght..



-(Courtesy of my 8 yo who told this to me tonight)

Colleges are still offering study abroad courses...

...via Zoom meeting.

Colleges are just like lightbulbs...

The cheap ones work just as well.

When colleges ask for my leadership activities...

"I'm a mod on reddit."

With most colleges going online now, nobody is laughing at University of Phoenix anymore

jk

My dad told me that colleges are cracking down on ghost-written essays...

I asked, “What about mummy-written essays?”

Why are colleges starting to teach quantum computing?

When professors try to explain binary states, the students tell them to go educate themselves.

I cheated on my girlfriend in college

She was way better at Calc 1b than me.

Apparently when colleges say they want a well rounded person

They don't mean in the stomach area

I went to one of those colleges where you can make up your own degree...

I ended up with a major in paedophilia and a minor in the back of my van.

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