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Exams Jokes

An exam was taking place in Oxford's oldest and most traditional college...

The ancient hall was packed with students in deep concentration.

Halfway through, a student stood up, banged his desk and loudly demanded a pint of beer.

The head examiner, furious at the disruption, asked him to 'explain yourself at once'.

The student cited section 7.b of a lon...

I have a bad habit of screaming during rectal exams.

It really makes my patients nervous.

When I left school, I passed every one of my exams with the exception of Greek Mythology.

It always was my achilles elbow.

The chemistry final exams

A chemistry student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How did your finals go?" the bartender asks. "Not so hot," the student replies. "The instructor asked my class to write 1000 words on acid. Unfortunately, I was unable to complete it as my pen turned to a gorilla and the floor melted."

I passed my exams with ease

English - E
Math - E
Science - E
History - E

A large university class is taking the final exam…

…about 300 students are writing away in their blue books and the professor warns two minutes til pencils down. Then one minute. Then he calls out that the exam is over, please stop writing.

As the body of students slowly lines up to turn in their exams, one student keeps writing. The professo...

Exams

A beautiful young woman, about to undergo a minor operation, is lying on a gurney in a hospital corridor awaiting the medical staff. A man in a white coat approaches her, lifts up the sheet, and visually examines her naked body. He walks away and confers with another man in a white coat. The second ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prostate exam

So I’m at my urology appointment for my prostate exam.

Urologist: “Sir, you really need to stop masturbating. “

Me: surprised “Why?!?”

Urologist: “Because I really need to finish this exam.”

Advice for final exams

A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Wish me luck, I have end of term exams tomorrow," she tells the bartender. "Good luck," the bartender says. "Are you all prepared?" "I've done everything I can think of to prepare. I even texted my ex last night," she says. "I asked him if he ha...

10 out of 11 medical students failed in their medical exams.

In the end, 9 of them recommended the same thing..

Colgate

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prostate exams

Put the anal in analysis

Why aren't cosmetic students afraid of missing their exams?

They love make up tests!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Medical Exams

Two brothers enlisting in the army were having their medical exams. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.

“How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers.

“It’s hereditary, sir,” the older one re...

Exams be like....

Choose the correct answer.

“Two Zero Two Four”

A: 2024
B: 0044
C: 0024
D: 2044

Q: Why aren't cosmetics students scared of missing their exams?

A: Because they like to take makeup tests!

I signed up for Binary 101 this semester and I’m failing in all the exams.

Turns out it is a level 5 course.

Dad- I want you to score 90% in exams.

Son- Dad, don't worry, I'll score 110%.

Dad- Stop joking.

Son- You started first.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl was going to study for her AP exams... [long]

A girl was starting to study for her AP exams, and her parents bought her a new calculator to help her out. The next day, she took the calculator in to class and started using it. The moment she started hitting the keys, she heard a guitar playing country music. Startled, she stopped and put it bac...

As I got older, I’ve developed this embarrassing habit of screaming loudly during my proctology exams.

It makes my patients feel really uncomfortable.

A university student wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch

However, the teacher looked at the student with an arrogant face and said:

'A swan shan't be friends with a pig.'

'Then I shall fly on,' answered the student with a smile.

The teacher was clearly vexed by the cheeky reply and decided to make sure to do everything in his power to...

A teacher was correcting exams from his students.

When he saw the exam of Joe, a student he hated, he gave him 0% without even reading his exam and wrote at the bottom:

"Stupid! Dumbass!"

When Joe received his copy, he was so shocked he went straight to the teacher's office and said:

"Sir, you didn't even read my exam. All I ...

Michael takes an exam

Michael is taking an exam at his school. All questions are True or False questions. He hasn’t studied so he decides to answer all his questions by flipping a coin.

Once the time is up, The teacher collects everyones exams but notices that Michael is still working. The teacher asks why he’s ...

I had my driving exams today and scored 9 out of 10

The last guy managed to jump out of the way

What tool does a ray of light to prepare for exams?

Magnifying glass because it helps them focus

Today I passed my exams to be a funeral director

Shame it's a dying trade

I failed a lot of maths exams

More than I can count

A group of students are doing their end-of-year exams.

The old beady-eyed moderator in charge of the classroom stared towards the clock at the end of the room as the students furiously scribbled down the remainder of their answers, knowing that time was almost up.

Minutes later, the clock struck a new hour and the exam was over.

“YOUR TIM...

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