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Voicemail Jokes

I love how people always leave voicemails when I miss their calls.

It's like they want to be ignored twice.

My mum was rushed to hospital so I left a voicemail for my dad. "Dad, can you call me urgently?"

I got a phone call from him, "Hi Urgently"

Why do phones have Voicemail?

Because voicefemail would take days to listen to...

My girlfriend's cellphone service sucks!

Eight days ago when she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's
gone straight to voicemail ever since.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher sent out an announcement that her class will have a day off tomorrow.

One of her students comes home to tell his grandfather. *I don't have to go to school tomorrow, can you take me to the park?* He agrees.

He immediately calls his secretary at work. *Something came up so probably we can't meet up at the hotel tomorrow, let's do it some other time?* She agrees....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a transsexual's giveaway and a message left on a phone?

One is a voicemail.



The other is a male voice.

What do girls with a daddy kink call their real dad?

Nothing, it goes straight to voicemail.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The aspiring comedian (not that funny but I made it myself)

So this aspiring comedian went to his local comedy club, like he did most weekends, and to his surprise his all time favorite comedian was doing a out of the blue performance at his local comedy club.

So he bought him self a ticket and proceeded to have one of the best nights of his life, ...

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