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Elevators Jokes

I've recently developed a severe phobia of elevators.

I'm taking steps to avoid them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elevators are a lot like urinals

Everyone’s looking down, nobody’s making eye contact, and my penis is exposed.

I heard a great joke about elevators

It works on many levels

You're on vacation, and you've arrived at your hotel. The elevators in the lobby are numbered, from left to right, 1, 2, 3, 5, and 4.

Curious, you try to enter elevator 5, but are stopped by the bell boy.

"You can't use that elevator," he says.
"Why not?"
"It's out of order"

In the UK we call them lifts but in the US they call them elevators

Because we’re raised differently.

(Moose Allain)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Homophobics in my apartment building have been boycotting the elevators.

They found out elevators go both ways.

I’m deathly afraid of elevators

I’m gonna start taking steps to avoid them

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?

Because it lifts their spirit.

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Take some steps to avoid them.

(Sorry for the dumb joke and if it's a repost, quarantine is hard.)

I don't have confidence or trust in elevators anymore

They always seem like they're up to something, but they also let me down quite often.

Why do people smoke in elevators?

It gets you higher.

Elevators are like my life.

Awful music and full of people who can't wait to get out.

I don’t trust elevators.

Half the time they’re up to something.

Elevators are fun

They are always up to something;
and down for everything.

Three writers, Al, Ben, and Carl, who were attending a writing convention, booked a 3 bedroom suite on the 75th floor of a hotel.

When they arrived back at the hotel from the convention, the receptionist told them, "I'm terribly sorry, but all the elevators are broken. In the meantime, you will have to take the stairs."

Now, Al was a writer of funny stories, Ben was a writer of scary stories, and Carl was a writer of sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elevators with toilets.

Isn't that taking shit to another level ?

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.

St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're assigned to hell."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and building improvements.

After a wh...

I don’t trust elevators...

I’ve taken a lot of steps to avoid them.

I prefer escalators but my wife prefers elevators...

I think it’s because we were raised differently

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are elevators always angry?

Because everyone keeps pushing their buttons.

I swore off elevators

because I refuse to let a machine bring me down.

Good friends are like broken elevators

They never let you down

I started researching the safety of elevators.

They have their ups and downs.

What do elevators say when they get sick?

Aw man, I think I'm coming down with something!

I have a hobby of drinking fancy water in elevators

Do you Evian-Lift?

Crime in elevators is disgusting and a huge problem for society

It's just wrong on so many levels

Blonde walks into an elevator

She sees her co worker Steve & says "TGIF". Steve has a puzzled look on his face and replies "NSIT". Ever more puzzled the blonde replies "TGIF, thank God it's Friday". Steve then says "NSIT, no stupid it's Thursday"

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