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Dud Jokes

What else can you call a milk dud

A udder failure

Special forces were sent to kill a president of the foreign country by any means necessary...

An hour after the special forces were sent out, the mission control hears.

"The president has been killed. Mission complete!"

Mission control congratulates them and asks how they did it.

"We dropped a nuke on him."

Mission control became frightened, regretting the "any me...

Kiwis, Trevor and Jeanette, are walking down a street in Bondi in Sydney.

Trevor happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye. The sign said "Suits $10.00 each, Shirts $4.00 each, Trousers $5.00 per pair".


Trevor says to his pal, "Jeanette, look! We could buy a whole lot of those, and whin we get beck to InZid, we could mak...

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud



Credit to my 5 year old nephew

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Kanyeā€™s rise to fame

Right before dropping out of college and kick starting his rap career, Kanye West went to visit his wealthy aunt, Shirlie Faulker, who owned a rubber products manufacturing factory on the outskirts of Paris, France. He decided to spend his summer break working at the factory part time while deciding...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

During the Korean War

My grandfather was deployed to South Korea when North Korea attacked. He was, by all accounts, a terrible gunner. He struggled to hit enemy tanks and even if his shell did hit, as if some curse was upon him, the shell would either be a dud or fail to pierce through the enemy's armour. Despite this, ...

What is Luke Skywalker's favorite candy?

Blue milk duds.

Three elderly sisters aged 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.

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One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath tub?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses, then she yells, "Was I ...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

The Birth of Baby Ruth

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"

Well, she immediate...

Tale of the banana.

There once was a young man who was so enthralled with bananas that he decided to go down to the tropics and start up a plantation of his own. He saved up his money and within a few years, found himself in a jungle city making deals to purchase the land required to start a plantation. This however, w...

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