A man was shopping at his local supermarket where he selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
He unloaded his items on the conveyor belt to check out, and the cashier said "You ...
A Navy man, a Army man and an Airforce man try to figure out who is the best soldier ...
Army man starts: "I once jumped out of an aircraft 30 feet above ground and ran 5 miles to our camp."
Navy man: "That's nothing. I once jumped out of an aircraft 60 feet above the ocean and swam 10 miles to our camp."
Airforce man: "I once flew an aircaft to our camp, landed it safely ...
A cargo ship struck an iceberg, tearing a gash in the side.
It was carrying bagged chips, so it didn't sink until it was unloaded.
An old but timely parable / joke for our times
A river valley was flooding fast. A TV news bulletin warned residents to get to higher ground. But as everyone was evacuating, a smug Evangelist stood his ground and declared "I will pray to God to deliver me from this disaster!"
So he prayed.
Some time went by and the floodwaters ro...
The Real Three Bears
It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest, and the Bear family is just waking up.
Baby Bear goes down stairs and sits in his small chair at the table and looks into his small bowl. It’s empty. "Who’s been eating my porridge?!" he squeaks.
Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in hi...
Monkey business
There's a guy hitchiking along the highway, when along comes an 18-wheeler. It pulls up, and comes to a grinding halt. The hitcher runs to the truck, reaches up, opens the door and jumps in. Inside the truck is the driver, and beside him is his pet monkey.
"Great lookin' monkey, mate," said t...
A spy is captured by terrorists in a hostile country. [Long]
The terrorists lock him in a windowless room with a chair, a table, and five items on the table. The terrorist comes in and says that each day, the man may pick one of the items to be removed. On the last day, the terrorists will kill him with the remaining item. The spy looks at the table to see a ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A Hunter's Resilience
Two deer hunters had decided to go hunting on opening day of the season. They had left in the afternoon because both had day jobs and could not get time off.
About halfway to their turn-off they see a sign that reads, "Aunt Gracy's Diner, Next Exit". They were ahead of schedule, so both agree...
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