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Why should you never fight Destiny?

Because then you will have to fight the bouncers, and every other stripper in the club.

A fortune teller has told me it’s my destiny to die at a coconut shy

What an awful fete that will be

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You can’t fight Destiny, because if you try

Then you will have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too.

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It is never a good idea to fight Destiny.

Because then you'll have to fight the other strippers and the bouncer too.

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There was a youth who lived in Russia.

He was orphaned at the young age of 5. He only had one mother, Mother Russia. With no one to take care of him, he was left to fend for himself. He was poor and worked in the coal mines, to earn a mediocre salary to last him a day or two.

One day after a hard day at work, he walked down a si...

I’ve got a date with destiny

And for 50$ an hour, not bad.

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I once had a woman tell me it's destiny.

That was the last time I asked a stripper her name.

A priest has a moment of weakness. He decides to go to a brothel.

Being a faithful servant of the lord until recently, he's overwhelmed. He sees one lady named destiny and immediately falls in love.

She's repulsed by him though, they just did not mesh.

The father leaves and returns the next day with flowers but destiny still will not have anything t...

I once heard a story of a man who played Destiny, trying to get the greatest boots of all time, named The Dubstep Grieves.

He died waiting for the drop.

My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games.

Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.

I like Donald Trump how I like Destiny

Overhyped and without a campaign.

The Cool Clam Club

Deep beneath the ocean there is an exclusive club known for only having the coolest of clams in their midst. This was called the Cool Clam Club.


Now, the Cool Clam Club was known across the seven seas as one of the most prestigious clubs known to seakind due to the fact that their initia...

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O.C. A coupon has an existential crisis...

A coupon has an existential crisis. He's been sitting in the utility drawer when he notices his expiration date is in a few days.Feeling useless, he walks out of the house and down the road until he comes upon a synagogue. In front of the synagogue is a Rabbi. The Rabbi asks: "Little Coupon! How ma...

Guess who woke up to 27 missed calls from their ex

Destiny, please come back

I met my current girlfriend at a midnight game release

It was destiny

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The stripper's parents didn't have faith that their daughter would go on to do something better...

They just didn't believe in destiny.

For the win

A man received a call from the local TV-station. He had signed up for a contest a few days ago and now he was informed that he had been chosen as a potential winner. The price was $10000. The task was simple: reach the TV-station within 15 minutes to win the price. Having just lost his job and with ...

How many Jedi does it take to screw in a hallway lightbulb?

None, because once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny.

A sprinter is training one day when he beats the world record.

After this he wakes up in the hospital with a concussion and a completely shattered foot.
"I'm afraid this happens sometimes in jokes," says the doctor, "and frankly you got off lightly. You reached the limit of what the laws of physics allow for and hit the fourth wall."

"Does this mean I...

What did the Soviets call the spread of communism?

Manifesto destiny

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A young mechanic...

A young mechanic was working on a car when the lift broke, and the car fell and severed his arm. Now severely depressed because he had one arm, loved to golf, and couldn't afford a prosthetic arm, decided "well, this is it. This is my end... I will kill myself because I can't play golf nor afford an...

An man with no arms walks into a bell tower...

...to apply for a job as the bell-ringer. He finds the proprietor and asks for a job. The proprietor says, "Well, sir, I don't think we'll be able to hire you. You have no arms with which to ring the bell." The man replies , "Sir, please. My father was a bell-ringer, my grandfather was a bell-ringer...

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Everytime this dude goes to a bar, he orders three beers..

.. but he orders the three beers at once, and sits by himself in his chair, enjoying his loneliness, with the three bears before him. He'd drink one, then go the next one, and then the last one.

Since the dude did this day after day, the bartender couldn't help but notice, and decided to ask ...

Why didn't Bungie stick with Halo?

Because it wasn't their Destiny.

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