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Dorito Jokes

What did one Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?

Cool ranch.

(Written by my 9 yo daughter).

People always make fun of my dad because his name is Chip and he is a Dorito farmer

You might think that is cheesy but actually we got to grow up on a really cool ranch

My wife always gets mad about splitting the grocery bill because "she doesn't eat doritos and Cadbury eggs"

But I've never used any of the cleaning supplys she always buys , and you never hear me complaining.

I love Doritos

If the government is putting chips inside of people I would like to request cool ranch Dorito for mine.

What flavor are stolen Doritos?

Nacho cheese

So I'm sitting in a recliner watching TV naked and eating Doritos, just minding my own business, really.

And then out of nowhere Walmart calls the cops.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a bag of Doritos and a prostitute?

Prostitutes aren't Frito-Lay.

What do you call a person who worships Doritos?

A Chipmonk.

What do you call the crumbs at the bottom of a bag of Doritos?

Microchips

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I came home from work today to find my wife and her two fat friends eating doritos on the couch..

I mumbled under my breath "fat fucking cows" she said "what did you just say?!" "You herd"

PS: obligatory repost after reading the other joke in the frontpage

A dorito asks the doctor whether or not he's done the DNA test to his son yet....

The doctor responds, "Yes, I'm afraid he's NACHO son."

I started a new exercise routine this week

I do 100 crunches in the morning and again in the evening

My favourites are Doritos cheese supreme and Lays original

Chocolate, icecream, cookies, mars bars, doritos, popcorn, milky ways, kit kats and lays!

i wrote this joke to reach a wider audience.

Your mama's so white...

...she thinks Doritos are Mexican food!

The first sample of moon dust, collected by Neil Armstrong in 1969, is up for sale for £1m

It's nearly the most expensive bag of dust ever; second only to a bag of Doritos at the movies.

We need to re-evaluate our use of the word 'Legendary.' We used to Say it of the person that pulled the sword from the stone.

Now we say it about whoever can find the Doritos.

What's the best way to get a baby out of a blender?

Doritos.

A pair of hot twin sisters, one blonde, the other brunette get invited to a Halloween party.

A pair of hot twin sisters, one blonde, the other brunette get invited to a Halloween party. The theme is "snacks" so they decide to go as a pair of popular candy bars.
The party is a real blast and the brunette is having tons of fun, but the blonde is just kind of off to herself with no one giv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If they close the grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food, I'm fucked.

I don't even know where Doritos live.

Reddit, help me finish this joke!

I have the first two parts:

1) The inventor of the Pringles crisp packaging was so proud of his invention that he was cremated and buried in a Pringles can.

2) The inventor of Doritos requested his family dust his grave with crumbled Doritos before burying his urn.

I need hel...

What could Dora the Explorer's kids be called?

Doritos

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to the supermarket..

He shops around for a while getting some items then proceeds to the register.

Cashier: "ok sir, six pack of beer, frozen lasagna, Doritos, hot pockets, and peanut butter. So how's single life?"

Guy "wow, you can tell I'm single because of the items I'm buying?"

Cashier: "no, it...

Motel Coronavirus

Motel Coronavirus



On a dim dreary morning

Ceiling fan stirs the air

Stale beer and Doritos

Littered next to my chair

Just outside of my window

Saw a glimmer of light

My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding

I hadn't slept all last ni...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/21)

Here we are, once again. It's time for some laugh-words.

First up, we've got some big movie news. "Transformers 4" is now updating its cast. To appeal more to the US box office, the evil Decepticons will be played by menacing vending machines that won't let go of your Doritos.

More mov...

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