3 bags of crisps walking down the road .. a bloke pulls up ,says hay guys wanna lift?

No thanks they replied we’re walkers

Back in the days, I'd only take just $1 with me to the supermarket and came back with 3 bottles of soda and 2 bags of crisps

But these days, there are surveillance cameras everywhere

A man walks into a bar and asks for helicopter flavour crisps.

The barman says "sorry, we only do plain"

An American is lecturing a British person,

saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s chips not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.

A sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a pint and a packet of crisps.

The bar tended turns around and says “sorry we don’t serve food here”.

You may only get this joke if you live in the UK, so apologies...

Two packets of Crisps leave the cinema, a car pulls up alongside them and the driver offers them a lift, they reply, ‘No thanks, we’re Walkers’.

A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat.

He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please?" The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"

What is Rick Grimes' favourite type of crisps?

Walkers

What is a ducks favourite dip for crisps?

Quacemole

Cheaper Pub in the World

Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint;

‟That will be $0.05 please sir”.

‟Wow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too”

‟Certainly, that will be $0.03 sir”.

‟Damnnn, OK and a packet of crisps”.

‟0.01 please sir, $0.08 all together”.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mate tried some Walkers mystery flavour crisps last night and swore they tasted like his wife's pussy,

He thought it was his imagination but everyone in the pub said he was right!

A bear walks into a bar...

He approaches the barman


Bear: "Can I have a pint..................................... and a packet of crisps?"

Barman: "Of course, but what's with the big pause?"

Bear: "IM A BEAR!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I said to my wife, "I saw a woman with her tits out on the bus feeding her son."



She said, "It's natural."



"Natural?" I replied, "She was giving him crisps."

FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL MY AMERICAN FRIENDS...

It's Mum not Mom

It's crisps not chips

It's chips not fries

It's football not soccer

It's rugby not football

It's school not shooting range

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redditor is fitting his new kitchen and he stops for lunch.

His wife makes him a sandwich, and hands him some crisps and chocolate to eat, and a banana." he finishes his lunch and gets back to work.

A few hours later and he's finished. The wife walks in and checks out their new kitchen.

"OH MY GOD!" she shouts, as she opens the door, "What the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Vampire walks into a bar and asks for a...

...a pint of blood and some crisps.

Barmaid replies sorry we dont do blood here, only crisps.
"Ah thats ok I'll have the crisps" replies the Vampire - he pays for them and sits down.

A second Vampire walks in and asks for the pint of blood and some peanuts. Again the barmaid tells...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks in to a bar with a large rooster

A guy walks in to a bar with a large rooster. He goes to the counter and sits on a stool with the rooster next to him.

"I'd like a whiskey, a few crisps, pour something for yourself as well, and... give me a beer."

"Very well"

After the guy has finished drinking.

"Okay, s...

All my life, I thought air was free...

... until I bought a bag of crisps!

A man was driving along the motorway

When all of a sudden, he sees two crisps (potato chips) walking along the side of the road.
Perplexed by this and concerned for their safety he leans out and shouts "Hey! You two want a lift anywhere?", to which the crisps stopped and replied "No thanks mate, we're Walkers".

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