Keto is healthy!

*Drinks bottle of Ranch Dressing*

Why was the salad wearing a cowboy outfit?

It was trying out the ranch dressing.

So the waiter asked me what I would like as a side dish...

I told her to recommend me a side dish as I had never been to the restaurant before.

She told me they had curried rice, potato wedges or a supersalad.

I told her I'd like the supersalad. She gave me a strange look and asked me the same question again.

I tell her yes, that I woul...

A joke from my son: "where do horses change their clothes?"

The ranch dressing room.

A woman walks into the dry cleaners...

When she gets inside she asks the cleaning lady to get out the stain on her dress.
“Come again?” The cleaning lady says
“No, it’s just ranch dressing this time”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

hillbilly guy is eating at a buffet...

a large lady at the next table is wolfing down chicken wings, dipping them into a soup bowl of ranch dressing and shoving them in, right hand, left hand...

suddenly she grabs her throat and starts eeking out a panicked sound and starts turning purple...

the hillbilly jumps up, shoves h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis at bar...

A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis are sitting at a bar complaining about their lives. The cucumber says, "My life sucks. I'm put in salads, and, to top them off, they pour ranch dressing all over me. My life sucks." The pickle says, "That's nothing compared to my life. I'm put in vinegar and stored ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this guy is a fabulous piano player...

And a great singer, too. He's got an audition at the local piano bar. He performs his first song, and the manager is blown away.

"Wow! What's the name of that song?" he asks.

"It's called, 'I fucked your mom on Tuesday last week.'" the man replies.

"Oh, well, can I hear another ...

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