Super Bowl Jokes

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the super bowl game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were kil... read more

It’s already gone viral.

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I lean over and ask him how there is an empty seat. He told me that he bought the tickets several months ago for him and his wife, but the wife unfortunately passed. I give my condolences, and I ask him why none of his family members took the ticket. He responded that they are all at the funeral.

All that’s missing is a great quarterback. A scout has been looking everywhere for someone good enough, but cheap enough to keep them under the salary cap.

The scout, after a long day of searching, comes home defeated. He slumps down into his chair and decides to watch the news.

As h... read more

The Detroit Lions.

Short notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl. They are box seats that he spent $5,700 a piece for which includes transportation to and from the stadium, open bar, and a pass to the winners locker room.

What he did not realize was last year when he purchased them th... read more

Aaron Rodgers won’t get a shot at either.

E is not a Roman Numeral

Watch the second half.

A man and his new wife make a pact to go to every Super Bowl. After 43 years the wife passes away, but the man continues their tradition and goes to the next super bowl. Another man sitting in the same row sees the empty seat next to the man and asks "why is this seat empty? It's the super bowl?" An... read more

A: Turn off the XBox.

No reception

The History Channel.

It’s the Super Bowl, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the 50 yard line. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty. ‘This is incredible,’ said the ma... read more

Surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bowl, a diehard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby.

"It was my husband's," the woman explained, "but he died."

"I'm very sorry," said the man. "Yet I'm really surprised that another relative, or friend, didnt jump at the chance... read more

Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl. They are box seats plus airfares and hotel accommodations. He didn't realize when he bought them that this is the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.


If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Chu... read more

He turns off the PlayStation.

In fact, it might take weeks until we know the final score, as soon as they finish counting all the mail-in points.

To ensure this doesn't happen again, all subsequent Super Bowls will be held in Dallas, Texas.

The whole team already bought tickets.

*Super Bowl LI

Because it's hard to catch a white bronco in California.

Told me some of my property had burned down.

In both cases, Mahomes' on fire.

At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0

Inflation is real

A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tix, 40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Prob bc of the extra game this year.

If you’re interested, he’s looking for someone to take his place... read more

…he’s a quarterback

Anymore than that, though, would just be Tera Bowl.

“Why, why did you wake me up? I was having such a nice dream!”

Amy Schumer has said she won't do any Super Bowl commercials this year in support of Colin Kapernic.

Thank God! Maybe this years Super Bowl commericals will be funny.

He literally said his knees were weak like 2 minutes earlier…

But he finds he's in the nosebleed section .
He sees a seat near the 50 yard line and he quickly comes and claims it.

"Why would anyone pass this up ?? It's such a great view !", he exclaimed

The old man sitting next to him replies, "Its my wife's , we had gone to every Super Bowl s... read more

He was trying to get the best exposure!

It’s because of inflation.

No, it’s LIV.

The fat one brought cereal.

Of course the Super Bowl is going to be dull; what do you expect when you bring Pepsi to a big party in Atlanta?

Every time they show Ray Lewis on the screen, stab someone in your party and then deny it was you.

Because the owner really likes a happy ending.

Thankfully there was no Brees though.

until the illegal second half was played.

"It's a Tide ad."

Turns out you can love the player and hate the game

Sunny, clear sky with no Brees.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.

He says to them

‘Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?’

Ole replies, ‘Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.’

T... read more

The Hyperbole

Gives the X Box back to grandkids

But I still have no idea what the football bits are for.

13-3.

It's in half time.

He excitedly sits down in his seat and his family takes their seats to his right. The game is about to start and he notices the seat next to his left is empty. He leans over to the guy a seat over and says, 'Hey man, did you buy this seat? Who would miss the super bowl!?'

The man says to him,... read more

The Patriots

A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes his seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium - he's closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field!


About halfway through the first quarter Bob... read more

I wonder who’s bringing the Corona

Apparently, neither did the
Los Angeles Rams.

were just like the Patriots.



A little old, but seasoned to perfection...

They're going right over my head.

Luckily, there shouldn't be any Brees though.

He's won all 5/7.

My brother has 2 tickets to the upcoming Super Bowl! He was so excited and paid the $3,500 for each ticket as soon as they went on sale. However, he didn't realize that the game would land on the day of his wedding..

If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.. It will... read more

Three guys from Michigan die and go to Hell. Satan, being the kind of guy who takes his job very seriously, always checks on new arrivals personally to make sure that they are uncomfortable and their eternal torment is going smoothly and so on.

So he arrives at their cell and listens in for a... read more

“It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.
“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?”
“Then I’d be a football fan.”

It worked out because BRADY-GRONKOWSKI-GOALLLLLLLLL!!!!! is the same in every language.

After all, this isn't the first time Atlanta was burned by the north.

Both teams suffered from blackouts

To watch the Super Bowl

SP: Before I allow you to enter Heaven, you must tell me something truly extraordinary about your life.

BG: Sheeet, no problem. I was a star NFL QB for 15 years!

SP: One of many. What else?

BG: I have 2 Super Bowl rings & 3 MVP trophys!

SP: These things do not impress... read more

I keep having a giant problem with the punchline

Because all the other torture chambers are full, the Devil puts him to hard labor.

A few hours pass, and the Devil returns to see how the torture is going. But the man is smiling and hardly working a sweat.

"Why haven't you given up yet? It's been at least 6 hours." The Devil asks him.... read more

and my fiancee's friend, who isn't very keen on sports, is commenting on the shoe polish streaks under their eyes.

She says "I just don't get it, what do those black things even do?"

I reply, "Well, play football, mostly."

A man sitting further back in the stands, noticed the empty seat, so he got out of his seat and went down to talk with the guy. He asked if anyone was sitting in the empty seat. The guy said, "Nope, it's empty".

In total disbelief, The other guy said, "WHAT?? Who would leave the best seat ... read more

Police get on the megaphone trying to evacuate the area: "Go, Pat riots!"