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What did God say after creating the first digestive system?

Shit just got real.

What do you call an experimental organ that’s part of the digestive system?

In-testin

I had a joke about what happens to corn in the digestive system.

But it's recycled.

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Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim. After taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape. "You see" Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command.

Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into its components." Jim is skeptical, but intrigued.

Carl continues: "For the *last* five years, I've been swallowing pieces off my uniform. It's perfect, because the guards just think it's rats chewing on it."

So Jim asks, "Well, ...

Watson: what is another name for the digestive tract?

Holmes: Alimentary, my dear Watson.

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My bodies digestive system has been backed up for some time

My body isn't giving a shit

How do you know God didn't program the human digestive tract in C#?

It ends with a whole colon instead of a semicolon.

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Every time I have a big bowel movement I say thank you to my digestive system.

For putting up with my shit.

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I had to study a book on the human digestive system today....

The ending was shit

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Good Anatomy or Digestive System Joke?

I need a good joke for my T shirt design for my Anatomy class. Anyone have any good jokes. thanks (school apprpriate please)

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I hate that I keep having diarrhea.

My digestive system needs to get its shit together.

Which character in Game of thrones has a healthy digestive system

Bran

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Jungle snooker. (Long Old joke, but then I’m old so you may not have heard it)

An elephant, a crocodile and a snake met by a riverbank, they had known each other for years and were pals. How about a game ? said the crocodile and the others agreed. Jungle snooker? Asked the elephant. Don’t know that one said the snake, how’s it played? Well said the elephant it’s like table ...

A group of Engineers are in a bar and the conversation turns to religion,...

The System Engineer says, "God must be an Systems Engineer, look at the design of the human nervous system. Millions of signals flying back and forward at enormous speeds, all controlled by a massively powerful processing system that can make billions of calculations every second. Only the greatest ...

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I went to see my proctologist...

I went to see my proctologist for a thorough check-up.

After he looked me over, I said to him, "You know, I probably have one of the best digestive systems in the world. It's *so* good, that I ate TEN POUNDS of glitter the other day just for fun. What do you think?"

“Weird flecks. But...

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2 original jokes

Here's 2 (bad) jokes I made up a few years ago. With all the reposts on here some new ones might be nice even if they are bad!

1. What do you call a long snake-like poo? A Poothon

2. A family of poothons were floating down a river.

The son poothon asks his mother "dad told me t...

I went to the Doctors today for a checkup

He told me that I had one of the best digestive systems he'd ever seen.

So today I'm celebrating superb bowel sunday.

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Once you go black you never go back.

This is a very concerning statement for me because my poop has been black for about a week and it burns really bad and google says black stool means blood early in my digestive tract and I don't know what to do please help

A famous restaurant critic is eating soup at a fancy restaurant.

This critic was well-known in the industry for his arrogance and rudeness, as well as his overall sloppiness. So it came as no surprise when mid-course he dropped his spoon on the floor, and angrily gestured to get a waiter's attention. When a waiter approached, the critic noticed a spoon tucked in ...

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A man was in hospital for a series of tests.

The last of which left his digestive system slightly worse for wear. upon making several false alarm trips to the loo, he figured that he might as well stay put. Suddenly, however, he shat in his bed and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped...

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Scientist have discovered a way to make food that, after eaten, produces absolutely no solid waste.

They expect that within a few million years, humanity will physically evolve to accommodate our new digestive requirements. They also predict the world will become a utopia, because there will be no assholes.

Others change, but you should be yourself!

said one corn to another in the digestive tract

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An upstart comedian speaks to a famous movie producer ...

"So, what's your idea?"

"Well, I want to make the film about how a wealthy New York businessman raised his child to become a selfish, arrogant prick just like himself. The boy's such a fucking asshole that even his neglectful father gets sick of the rat and sends him to a military academy. ...

A National Geographic journalist visits a remote village...

...on an unexplored, untouched island in the South Pacific. He is welcomed by the villagers with open arms, and a great feast in his honor is given. All the villagers and the journalist eat their fill until they cannot possibly take another bite. The journalist retires to a bed the villagers prepare...

Professor San Holo

Prof San Holo was busy at his lab. He was experimenting with splicing genetic material from rams into eggs of bees. With global warming, certain species of flowering plants flourish while others perish. The idea was to give bees the ability to digest leaves and grass to make honey and thereby reduc...

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