What do you call a bacterial disease caused by two grizzlies?

Twobearculosis.

What did the doctor say to the patient suffering from a bacterial infection?

Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well

I know a good joke about bacterial disease

But I dont want to spread it

A little bacteria was celebrating his birthday...

and all of his microbial friends got together to bake him a cake.

He was so excited upon seeing the cake that he underwent mitosis and split in two.

The microbial friends all worried that now there werent enough cakes, and that perhaps they should have planned better...

But actu...

Why did Shakespeare get so many bacterial infections?

Because he only had quillicillin

I took a video of my symptoms that suggested a bacterial infection

it turned out to be viral.

Did you hear about the bacterial outbreak in the office?

They said it was a staff infection.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this guys goes to the doctor because he is often delirious

The doctor says;

“Listen, take this syringe, go home, and inject some anti-bacterial dish soap RIGHT into your veins”

The guys says “Ok” then goes home and does exactly that.

The next day he returns and says “Doctor, i did what you said, and it made my penis shrivel into a lit...

My father’s sister is obsessed with killing germs,

we call her Auntie Bacterial.

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