This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors.

There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method to getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. If he does so, he will be allowed to enter Heaven. The catch? At the end of the 1,000 year period, if the man asks to be let out of...

man addicted to brake fluid

says he can stop at any time....

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I asked my penis if it felt depressed knowing it's only function of existence is to purge out bodily fluids all day, everyday, for all eternity.

He said ***At first, it pisses you off, but then you cum to enjoy it.***๐Ÿ˜‰

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a "Living Will"

Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer

DOCTOR: have you been drinking enough fluids?

ME: thatโ€™s literally all I drink

There is new term for waking up in prison, covered in various bodily fluids

Cosby sweater

I wasn't feeling very well so my doc told me to drink plenty of fluids and get lots of rest.

So I drank till I passed out.

Do you guys like jokes about the exchanging of bodily fluids for doggy biscuits?

Well, urine for a treat!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Things where Mechanics and Dentists are similar: drills, fluids, expensive without insurance. Things where Mechanics and Dentists Differ:

Dentists will at least wait until your asleep before they try and fuck you

I make a living selling dehydrated body fluids, especially blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm.

I'm well renouned for my dry humors.

The reason I check my hair and my general appearance so often, is because of this one bad day. I can't even say I remember it, but I am told my hair was a mess, I was covered with unspeakable fluids, had trouble breathing, couldn't even stand, and I cried in front of everyone.

I'm still trying to live down the day I was born.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

So, it's a full moon tonight. Tomorrow I'll wake up in some woods, naked and covered in bodily fluids...

...oh no, I'm not a werewolf, I'm going dogging.

I See Death

All around me, i see death. In the streets. In public transportation. I don't know if i should isolate myself in my room and never leave, or wear a mask that might not even work.

I see death whenever i take a breath. I feel the tingle in my throat, the tears in my eyes, the fluids running dow...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.