An inmate went to see the prison doctor and was dismayed to be told that he needed to have one of his kidneys removed. “Look,” said the prisoner, “you’ve already removed my tonsils, my adenoids, my spleen and my gallbladder, and now you want my kidney?
I only came to you in the first place to see if you could get me out of here.
The doctor was unruffled “And that’s exactly what I’m doing,” he answered, “bit by bit.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I had a stutter when I was a kid
It was embarrassing and all of the other kids made fun of me for most of my life. Finally, when I was a junior in highschool, my parents sent me to a doctor. “D-d-doctor”, says I, “p-p-please help me. I h-h-h-have this terrible stutter” Doc said “Son, I have some bad news for you....your peni...
The Zoo Joke (Long)
So there's this zoo, and this zoo isn't very affluent, but, if someone visits the zoo, it is definitely to see their gorilla.
One morning, the workers come in early to open the zoo like normal and find, to their great sadness, that their famous gorilla has died of old age. The zoo staff are ...
One day, God and Adam were talking in the Garden Of Eden...
“Yes. And I’ve given this some thought. What if I told you I could make you a companion? She would be a lot like you, but different in many ways. She would think just like you think. She would never disagree with you. She would support your e...
If Microsoft Made Medication...
10. Anyone who took them would be more vulnerable to catching viruses. 9. The drugs would cause you to collapse into unconsciousness at random times. This would be known as a "system crash." 8. It would be hard to tell if you were taking the right drug, because Microsoft would make all its med...
What's the difference between a musician and a suicide bomber?
A musician wears his heart on his sleeve.
A suicide bomber wears his spleen on your shoes.