UPJOKE
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Deported Jokes

Why did Djokovic get deported?

Novac

why was the sick eagle arrested and deported??

Cuz he was an ill eagle

A Brazilian man in Mexico doesn't know why the U.S. deported him there.

Can you imagine Hispanic?

So I got deported from China with a permanent travel ban for talking about my son

One day I decided to visit china. When I landed in the Chinese airport i found out that I received a text from my son Tyler saying that he won the town's annual drinking championship.

I decided to tell the wife about it and called her. It was very loud in the chinese airport and she couldn't...

How should illegal immigrants be deported?

Juan by Juan.

I would like to get deported

Said no Juan ever.

50 years after being deported a jewish man return to his hometown's cobbler who still has his shoes

"They'll be ready in 3 days!"

It's been reported that Donald Trump has recently found Jesus ...

And had him deported.

One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has just been deported.

Now we don't have Oleg to stand on.

I told my Mexican friend that he was being deported...

You should have seen Hispanic

Why hasn't Trump deported all the Muslims yet?

Cause he can't get them through airport security.

If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country if trump wins I'm leaving the country.

Not a political repost I'm just getting deported

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a British Sergeant is deported to Egypt...

And he is forced to live in a mudhut in a small village far from any civilization.

After a few weeks he realizes that he can't fight his sexual urges, but he's too much of a proper gentleman to masturbate. So turns to his servant and asks "My dear Achmed, I feel like my hedonistic urges are t...

I just got deported by the government of Austria due to my bad Arnold Scharzenegger impressions, and all the flights to America are full.

Don't worry, I'll just get to the helicoper

2 hardcore Trump supporters die and go to heaven...

Then they get deported for being illegal immigrants

Trump has just been debriefed about the aliens in area 51

he wants them deported immediately

Guys, what are your favorite "I'm going to hell for this" jokes?

Here's mine:
What do you call a dead Mexican?
Dearly deported.

What did the Mexican family get for Christmas?

Deported

Trump is visiting a class

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings. The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.

So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “if my bes...

I was planning on getting a tan

But now that Trumps President there is a high chance I'll get deported if I'm too dark

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

I did so much yard work today,

I might get deported.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man tsks at his great-grandson playing Fortnite

"This is what you kids do for fun these days? Why back in my day, we'd go to the Moulin Rouge in Paris, fuck all the dancers, piss all over the bar, and leave without paying!"

He didn't think anything more of it until a month later when his great-grandson limped into his house on a pair of cr...

Hillary, Trump, and Cruz walk into a bar

Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Ted Cruz walk into a bar on Christmas Eve.

Hillary tells the bartender: "Good evening, my man! Pour me a drink, I'm tired and thirsty from all the campaigning."

Donald Trump then says: "Merry Christmas! I want a drink too."

He then looks clos...

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