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Au Pair Jokes

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My Au Pair from Finland has been finding school very difficult of late.

So much anticipation and excitement around my school as it's the first Dux Scholar we've ever had.

Anticipation runs high as we'd all like to see his academic capabilities in our 'not-so-great' school.



Every subject imaginable; Physics, Geography, English, Chemistry etc, we are...

Police last night raided the Home For Retired Thieves and Au Pairs....

...they proceeded to search every crook and nanny!

What's the difference...

between a piece of outdoor furniture and a talkative live-in nanny?

One is a patio chair and the other is a chatty au pair!

(I'll see myself out now...)

85 year ol man marries....

And sees his doctor "I just married an 18 year old au pair girl, and she wants to have a baby as I am getting old. Is there anything I can do to help speed this up?"

Doctor looks at the old man and says "get a young lodger!" With a wry smile.

5 months later the old man visits his doct...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chap goes to the doctor about his erectile disfunction

A chap goes to the doctor about his erection, and the kindly doctor prescribes him some Viagra. He explains to him that he needs to take it an hour before the act, so the next night the chap gets home early and prepares a romantic dinner for his wife.

He then calls her in the office where she...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In service

A young boy jumps into hot bath, within a few minutes he is calling out to his mum. "mummy something happened to my willy"
The mum rushes upstairs to the boy only to find he has had his first erection.
"Don't worry" said the mum, "your willy is just a totem pole, it becomes hard and upright re...

What is a nanny's favorite fruit?

Au Pair.

The other day I found two gold bars.

I've always dreamed of an Au pair.

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