Cuddling Jokes - 16 Hilarious Cuddling Jokes

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All the robots I’ve seen hate cuddling

They just Nut and Bolt

Cuddling

“I cuddle with my husband about two or three times a week.”

“Yeah? Me just once.”

“Oh, but wait, I thought you were single.”

“Ah I see. I thought we were talking about your husband.”

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A girl is cuddling with her boyfriend watching TV and says...

\-Tell me something sweet.

\- Watermelon.

\-Nooooo, something I'd like.

\-Shoes.

\-Noooo, something .

\-Your sister.

Dating is cuddling on the sofa.

Marriage is sleeping on the sofa.

A couple of fungi were cuddling one night

One says to the other - “it’s getting hot can you move over?”

The other replies - “I would but I don’t have mushroom!”

There's nothing like cuddling up to your significant other.

Until they ruin it by saying stuff like, "Who are you? How did you get into my house? Get out before I call the cops!"

Cuddling with somebody is probably the most comforting thing in the world...

...unless you're in prison.

I was asked to describe the feeling of cuddling with a Jedi

It was Lukewarm.

One of the best feelings in the world is to wake up with someone cuddling with you...

Unless you're in prison.

I used to enjoy cuddling with the babysitter when she put me to bed, but meanwhile it feels a bit weird.

Especially when my wife is not yet asleep.

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God created Adam and after a time God took a rib from Adam to create Eve

God says to Adam “I have taken your rib and from that I have created Eve, a woman. Adam, you are to love Eve.”
Adam asks God, “alright God, well what am I supposed to love Eve, a woman?”
God tells Adam “you can go and hold Eve’s hand, Adam. Here’s how.”
God explain how they should hold ha...

Patio Birds

A poultry obsessed wife brings home two baby geese and promptly sets up their coop, pool, and feed on the back patio, stating they would be more comfortable there. She spends hours outside tending to, cooing at, and cuddling them… to the point of annoyance with her husband.

One day he decide...

A guy, a pig, and a dog are the only survivors of a terrible shipwreck, and they find themselves stranded on a desert island.

After being there for awhile, they get into a ritual of going to the beach every night to watch the sun go down.

One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle -- in short, a perfect night for romance! Well, that pig started looking bette...

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So there is a DEA

Raid on this old man's farm. They are there just tearing everything apart looking everywhere. The farmer noticed an agent heading towards a particular pen and he wants the agent not to go in the. The agent being a and on a power trip pulls out his badge and says "you see this? This means I can...

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A kid goes to the shops with his mum...

A kid goes to the shops with his mum. He has always wondered about the female anatomy, so he peers under the skirt of a mannequin. But unfortunately, his mum sees him doing it.

Whack! She smacks him over the head.

"What are you doing, you dirty little boy? There's nothi...

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A Couple Meet Online

They were both members of a senior chat site, and eventually started PMing each other, and then decided to meet in person.

That's when she discovered her mistake: she thought it was for seniors in college, where she was a cheerleader, but it was actually senior citizens. Her date was 73 year...

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