TIL; JFK bought a lifetime supply of Cuban cigars before he enacted the embargo.

The box of cigars lasted LBJ one week.

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A guy dies and suddenly finds himself in Hell...

He trepidatiously follows the crowd towards the Gates of Hell. He finds a demon holding a piece of cardboard with his name on it.

"Craig?," asks the demon as the man approaches.

"Y... yes," answers Craig, unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Hi. I'm Ed. I know what you're thi...

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A guy walks into a urologist’s office:

- Doc, I’ve been a faithful husband for 30 years. I love my wife, but the spark is gone and I haven’t even been able to get it up for a year now. Obviously, the missus is very upset about this. Please help.

- You amaze me! Have you ever heard of Viagra? Here, take some of these to try and co...

A wealthy man met a beggar on the street.

The beggar pleaded to the wealthy man to give him a dollar to buy something to eat.

"You poor fellow," said the wealthy man. "Come with me and I'll buy you a drink."

"Actually, I don't drink. But I would like something to eat."

"Here, my friend. Take one of my Cuban cigars," the...

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A Man, A Woman, A Hobby!

A man has been alone on a deserted island for ten years. One day a beautiful woman in SCUBA gear swims up on shore.

"Oh, thank God! I've been alone here for so long!"

She unzips the side of her wet suit, revealing a shapely arm, and says, "Then, you've probably not had one of these ....

A salesman rings the doorbell.

An eight year old boy answers the door. He is naked, except for his father's hat, his mother's panties, and a cape. He has a martini glass in one hand and a fat, Cuban cigar in the other.

"A-a-are your parents home?", the man stutters.

"What the Hell do you think?"

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road

one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it , but couldn't. The aged cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow. She stayed in the car making phone call...

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A mailman is working his last day on a route he's been doing for 20 years

He gets to the first house and a man greets him at the door with a very expensive bottle of wine and thanks him for his service. He arrives at the next house and is greeted by the entire family with a box of Cuban cigars and everyone wishes him a happy retirement.

He arrives at the third hous...

Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train.

Fidel Castro pulls an expensive Cuban cigar out of his pocket, lights it, and then throws it out the window after only a few puffs. Vladimir Putin and the Oort Cloud are both surprised by this and ask "what are you doing, Fidel? That's an expensive cigar!" To which Castro responds, "in your country/...

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So there is a a Russian, American, Cuban and a Mexican in a boat.

They are all hanging out relaxing, when suddenly the Cuban takes out a cuban cigar. He takes 2 puffs of it and throws it overboard.

"What are you doing? thats a really nice cuban cigar!" he was asked.
"Oh its no big deal, where I'm from they are a dime a dozen."
Thats pretty bad ass eve...

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A man dies and goes to hell

and this demon starts showing him around; you know, the pool, the hotel, whatever. They get to talking, and the demon asks:

Hey, do you like to drink?
The guy answers "Ya, I love drinking"

The demon replies: You're going to love mondays. On monday, we drink from morning to night. We...

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There was an old man on his front porch drinking a glass of whiskey.

The man's grandson opened the front door and said "hey grandpa! Can I have some?". "Can your dick touch your asshole?" Asked the man. "No" said the boy. The old man said "well that means you can't have any."

The next day, the man was out on his front porch again smoking a Cuban cigar. Out com...

A Russian, a Cuban, an American , and a lawyer share a room on a train...

As they're exchanging stories about their journey across the world, the Russian took out a bottle of fine Russian vodka, pours everyone a cup, then proceed to throw the rest out the window.

The rest of them are very confused and ask why he would throw away such fine vodka.

The Russi...

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Mr Postman knocks at Little Johnny's parents' house...

Johnny answers the door, wearing his dad's dressing gown, holding a half-smoked cuban cigar and swigging from a bottle of Cognac.
"Hello Little Johnny" said the postman, "are your parents in please?"
Little Johnny replies, "DOES IT FUCKING LOOK LIKE IT?!"

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