I went to get a vasectomy and the doctor said I won’t have children anymore

When I went back home they were still there

I’m getting a vasectomy tomorrow

I’ll tell my urologist she can start with either side because ultimately it doesn’t make a vas deferens.

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My friend asked me, “Is sex weird after you get a vasectomy?”

I said, “I don’t notice a vas deferens.”

What do you call an artist who had a vasectomy?

Seriously, does anyone know?

I'm drawing a blank here.

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THE HILLBILLY VASECTOMY

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy...

Villager goes for vasectomy

So one villager reaches the doctor's clinic looking very despondent.

Doc: What are you here for?

Villager: The vasectomy camp.

D: Oh OK. How many kids do you have?

V: None. I am not even married!!

D (shocked): Then why do you want a vasectomy?

V: Every man i...

I got a vasectomy but my gf still got pregnant.

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

I had a vasectomy but my wife still had a baby

She told me its ok though, sometimes a vasectomy just makes the baby come out black......

My wife said, “You got a vasectomy without telling me. Are you serious?”

I said, “I’m not kidding you.”

A surgeon was fired after a botched vasectomy.

Still got a severance package.

Turns out a vasectomy doesn't necessarily stop you having a child.

It just changed the colour.

My wife and kids want me to get a vasectomy so they took a vote...

...I lost 13 votes to 12.

Urologist told me a joke during my vasectomy...

So during my vasectomy it was just me and the younger female doctor in the room. She was talking with me to distract me and said you want to hear a good vasectomy joke? Of course I said yes, not knowing it was going to go this way.

If a Bluebird has blue babies, a blackbird has black babies...

I'm really confident about my vasectomy.

I'm sure it's gonna make a vas deferens.

What's the difference between having a vasectomy and being naturally sterile?

There's not a vas deferens

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People told me that a vasectomy would totally change sex for me.

But it didn't have a vas deferens

I had always thought becoming sterile through testicular trauma was the same as having a vasectomy

Turns out, there's a vas deferens

Doctor, how did my vasectomy go?

Well, about that Mrs Smith...

I went for a vasectomy the other day because I don't want to have any children

I don't think it worked though, because when I got home they were still there.

Earlier this year I got a vasectomy

I thought it would stop me and my wife from having kids, but it just changed the color of our child.

Do not get one, they don't work.

Why was the man upset with his vasectomy procedure?

There was no vast difference.

After my vasectomy I was telling my wife...

I can take my arm being sore, or even my leg. That's no problem.

But this operation is a whole different ball game.

My wife just gave birth and she’s over the moon! I,on the other hand, plan to sue the surgeon who did my vasectomy.

Not once did he mention that a mixed race baby was a possible side effect!

I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want kids.

But when I got home they were still there.

Did you hear about the doctor who botched a vasectomy?

He missed and got the sack

I asked my artist boyfriend to sketch what our baby might look like, but he must have gotten a vasectomy.

He drew a blank.

Went to have my vasectomy today

The doctor asked: "this procedure is irreversible. Have you consulted your wife and kids?"
To which I replied: "yes, we voted it up, 19 were pro and only 2 against."

What does a king call a vasectomy

An heir cut

I used to think that a vasectomy prevented you from having a kid

Turns out it just changes the color (:

The doctor's price for my vasectomy was a little high for me, but my offer was too low for him.

In the end we split the deferens.

My wife carries condoms in her purse but I had a vasectomy four years ago.

Poor thing, she has become so forgetful.

Red neck decision making

A redneck family has already 4 kids when the husband announces to the wife that he will get a vasectomy.

Perplex to understand his sudden decision the wife asks him why. He replied “i read that 1 in every 5 Americans is Hispanic, and I cannot bear the risk of getting one into this family”

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My wife wants to prove she's brave enough to get a vasectomy...

I told her she doesn't have the balls to do it.

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What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger gets his vasectomy reversed?

Scrotal re-ball

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I had a vasectomy

Two months ago, I had a vasectomy for health reasons and a week after the operation, I was asked by the doctor to produce a sample of my semen for confirmation by the hospital.

When I was walking to the hospital, I realized the lid of the bottle in my pocket was off but still decided to go to...

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An artist and his wife have been having sex daily for almost two months.

While highly unusual, he doesn't question it for fear of pressing his luck. One day, his wife approaches him.

"Honey? Can you draw a picture for me?"

"Sure babe, what would you like?" he replies.

"I want to see how you think our baby will look."

The husband stares at her,...

I just got a Vasectomy...

The urologist gave me a cup and said I had to fill it in 60 days then bring it back for a sperm count. I guess the surgery doesn't make a vas deferens right away...

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What is the title for a movie about a man who is going to get his vasectomy reversed?

Scrotal Recall!

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I am having a vasectomy today. Tell me your best ball jokes

I will start it off.
What did one ball say to the other?
Don't talk to the guy in the middle he's a dick.

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A man goes to the hospital to have his vasectomy procedure performed...

He gets his gown and is in his bed in his hospital room.

The nurse comes in to prepare him for surgery. She shaves the areas that need shaving and then tells the man, "I am going to need to clear your pipes". She then proceeds to give the man a handjob until completion.

This is a sha...

Wife told me if I really didn’t want anymore kids to get a vasectomy

All it did was change the color of our next one.

"Doctor, I've decided to get a vasectomy"

The doctor said, "Mr. Smith, this is a serious decision. Have you talked it over with your wife and children?"

"Oh, yes," Mr. Smith replied. "They're in favor of it 15 to 2."

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A man is talking to his doctor before a vasectomy...

The man asks "So, after the procedure, sex will feel the same?"

The doctor responds, "I can assure you there will be no vas deferens."

Two years ago, Vizzini had a vasectomy. Today, his girlfriend announced to him that she is pregnant with his child.

He yelled: "Inconceivable!"

The first doctor to ever perform a vasectomy...

Really got the ball rolling.

Southern man getting a Vasectomy, no not the cherry bomb joke.

A man from the southern US goes to the doctor to get a vasectomy. He wears his finest 3 piece suit with his best shoes. When the nurse is getting him ready she asks him why he's dressed so fancy. The man replies, "Well heck, if I'ma be impotent, I'ma look impo'tant too."

What did the cop say to the black nurse after his vasectomy?

Don’t run, I shoot “blanks”

After getting a vasectomy a guy complains to his buddy that they don't work since his wife still keeps getting pregnant.

The buddy says "mine didn't work either, it just made the babies come out black"

"I don't think the vasectomy worked", said the redneck to his friend.

"Why, you get yo wife pregnant?" asked the friend.

"Yeah not only that, the baby came out all black."

Two men discuss vasectomies...

First: "I'm thinking about getting a vasectomy, but I'm worried about performance..."
Second:" I had one, I was worried at first but after a while I realized there just wasn't a vas deferens"

I had a vasectomy today, and my wife keeps asking how I feel...

I've had to tell her over and over that it's not that bad, and that I don't notice much of a vas deferens.

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Alabama Vasectomy

One day a man from Alabama was arguing with his wife and she wanted him to get a vasectomy. So he reluctantly went to the doctor and upon hearing the cost $6500. He said he isn't paying that as he could buy a used fishing boat for that price. So he went to another doctor hoping to get a lower price...

I got a vasectomy two years ago.

Turns out is doesn't stop you from having kids, they just come out in different colours.

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Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy?

Because open balls are in his neighborhood

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I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next Wednesday, but I am a little worried.

I hear it can make a vas deferens in my sex life.

What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't?

I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.

During his annual checkup, a man tells his doctor he is thinking about getting a vasectomy

The doctor tells him that it's a very important decision and asks if he has had a chance to discuss it with his family. The man says,"Yeah, and they are in favor of it 15 to 7."

An old hillbilly goes in for a vasectomy wearing a tuxedo. . .

. . . The doctor asks him when he arrives:

"Sir, why are you wearing a tuxedo?"

To which the old hillbilly responds:

"You said I was gonna be impotent. I figured if I's gonna be Impotent, I better look Impotent too."

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