UPJOKE
verifyaffirmcorroboratevalidatesupportreconfirmshowapprovebackconfirmationsubstantiatesustainreassertpentecostfaith

Confirms Jokes

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test aga...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.

They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.

The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.

T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The toilet paper crises confirms

that we have far more assholes than we thought.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 80 year old blind man walks into a pub and sits at the bar.

He orders a pint and tells the landlord, "I've been blind for 50 years lad. My hearing's perfectly attuned. I bet can tell you what's happening in any room in this pub."

"Oh really", says the landlord, "go ahead then".

The old man cups a hand round his ear, tilts his head to the ceil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Michael Stipe confirms sex tape filmed at morgue is genuine...

..."That's me in the coroner."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A $200 vagina?

Two couples were playing poker one evening.

Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the ...

Scientists for Health UK confirms that beer contains female hormones

Yesterday scientists for Health UK suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones, (hops contain phytoestrogens), and drin...

A police officer knocks on the door

The wife answers, he presents her with a picture of a person. Curiously, he asks, "Excuse me, ma'am, is this your husband?" The lady gazes at the photo and confirms, "Indeed, that's him." With a serious tone, the officer adds, "It looks he was struck by a bus." The lady lets out a sigh and cleverly ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are standing at the pearly gates...

St. Peter tells them, "As you all know God has a sense of humor and his latest idea is to put the Kingdom of Heaven several hundred miles from the Pearly Gates."
"How is that supposed to be funny?" one guy asks.
"Well, God had the novel idea of allowing those admitted into Heaven a vehicle to...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.