I kept seeing this in r/news, but I was sure it belonged here......
“Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?”
“Yes, I’d like to hear a TCP joke.”
“OK, I’ll tell you a TCP joke.”
“Yes, I will hear a TCP joke.”
“Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?”
“Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.”
“Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It ...
A man comes to a lawyer
A man comes to a lawyer and says:
- My friend, John, borrowed $500 from me and does not want to give. How can I get money back in court?
- Do you have any written confirmation that your friend borrowed money from you?
- Hmm, then write him a letter in which you wan...
A few days ago, I finally learnt what confirmation bias means.
Now I see it everywhere.
A little boy to his father: "Daddy, how did I actually come into the world?" Daddy replies: "Alright my son, at some point we have to to this talking, so watch out:
Daddy got to know mommy in a "chat room." Later, daddy and mommy met in a "cyber cafe" and on the toilet, mommy wanted to do a few "downloads" of daddy's "Joy Stick". When daddy was then ready for the "upload", we suddenly realized that we had no "firewall" installed and it was already too late to p...
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says “uno, dos...”
But before he can finish his sentence, a gunshot rings through the air and he falls to the floor, blood oozing out of his head. Screams are everywhere as the audience seeks cover.
His best friend Nathaniel is in the audience, but all he can do is sit there in shock and stare at the corpse of ...
Classic Giggle (I will forever double check before I send an email)
**After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.**
Three Men Of God
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all ...
My favorite Lent joke (as told to me by an Episcopal reverend)
A Protestant moves into a Catholic neighborhood. It's a pretty open-minded and welcoming community, and everyone gets along great.
The first time an issue presents itself is when Lent rolls around. During Lent, the Catholics in the neighborhood all swear off red meat. Every day at lunch, h...
What do you call it when you make someone say prayers all the time just because they’re Catholic?
A Confirmation bias
A man walks into a bookstore at 3.00 a.m. [Long]
He walks around and sees a particular notebook behind a counter that's locked in a glass box.
He asks the cashier what book that is and the cashier says he does not know and needs to get confirmation from the manager. The man asks him to do so.
Moments later, a tall, slender man with ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Jim and John are breaking out of prison.
Since the sewerage is the only way of getting out of prison, they decided to go through it. - "John, jump in there and tell me how deep is the shit." John jumps and screams: - "They're to my knees." Jim, happy enough because he's getting out of prison, jumps right after John's co...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I had a vasectomy
Two months ago, I had a vasectomy for health reasons and a week after the operation, I was asked by the doctor to produce a sample of my semen for confirmation by the hospital.
When I was walking to the hospital, I realized the lid of the bottle in my pocket was off but still decided to go to...
I ordered my girlfriend flowers on Valentine's day
that didn't arrive (or were stolen from the porch), so I gave her the delivery confirmation instead.
Apparently it's not really the thought that counts.
A woman got a tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh
A woman got a tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh, but she didn’t think it looked like Elvis at all. She complained to the artist who reluctantly agreed to try to redo the tattoo in the same spot on the other leg, which the woman agreed to.
After the artist was done, the woman realize...