UPJOKE
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Condensed Jokes

I went to the store and got what I thought sweetened condensed milk.

When I got home and opened it up, it said “You don’t know how to cook, but you’re trying so hard. Bless your heart, honey.”

Turns out it was sweet’n condescending milk.

What do you call a condensed version of the history of ISIS?

What do you call a condensed version of the history of ISIS?

CaliphNotes!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Mexican women with three boobs?

Tres Leches

I noticed a nuclear fusion reactor the other day in my backyard.

While in my backyard the other day, I noticed a large gravitationally confined plasma thermo-nuclear fusion reactor. Being an engineer, I saw that it was radiating huge amounts of energy at very high velocity in the form of incredibly high frequency transversely polarized Maxwellian electromagnetic ...

What type of milk do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk.

Why was the cat so small?

It was brought up on condensed milk.

A lot of new social media sites are like some of the jokes on this sub:

Smaller, more condensed and ultimately worse than the original they ripped off

I hacked the recipe computers

at the Campbell's Soup Company. Do you want me to post them in their entirety,

Or just the condensed version.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see?

And he walks up to a sea, well he doesn't walk up, he swims up. Well, actually the mollusk isn't moving. He's in one place and then the sea cucumber, well they... I mixed up. There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that I... There was this mollusk and he walks up...

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