Did you know the average gazelle can jump higher than a two story house?

This is due to the animal’s extremely powerful hind legs and the fact that a house can’t jump.

Hunter...

Two hunters fly to Kenya, where they bag six gazelles. As the crew is loading the small plane to return, the pilot says the aircraft can take only four gazelles back.

“Last time, the pilot let us take all six, and he had the same plane as yours,” argues the first hunter.

Reluctantly, t...

The Lion and the Elephant

Everybody knows that the lion is the king of the jungle. Always has been, and for generations it seemed like he always would be. One afternoon, however, after a particularly poorly received watering hole decision, the elephant had had enough.

“Lion,” he said, “I’ve been your major domo for a...

Why do gazelles always lose races?

Cause they're running against cheetahs

Prehistoric math joke

In a certain tribe, in which polygamy was practiced, a married man’s standing in the tribe depended upon the combined weight of his wives-the greater the combined weight, the more important was the man. Every year, on weighing day and according to custom, the married men would stand their wives on n...

Buzzards on a plane

Two buzzards were at the check in counter at their local airport answering the usual questions. The desk agent finally noticed the piece of rotting gazelle they had brought with them.

"Are you going to check that?" the agent asks.

"No. That's my carrion."

The majestic lion

Lions, as everyone knows, are the kings of the animal kingdom. Apex predators of the Serengiti, there are few who can stand steady in the face of their mighty roar.

Unfortunately for lions, however, they are rather limited in their mobility. When it comes to such places as ice, water, and air...

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The King of the Jungle [long] [nsfw]

The lion, the king of the jungle, once summoned all the animals to celebrate his new born child. Sure enough all the animals showed up and gazed with awe upon the famous lion's rock.

The lion roared fiercly and all animals awaited silently the big announcement of their king. After a brief mom...

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King of the jungle

A lion strolls proudly through the jungle. He happens upon a monkey and roars: "Who is the king of the jungle?!" The monkey nearly pisses himself and grovels before the lion: "You, you, lion, are the king of the jungle!" So the lion lets the monkey run off, nodding in approval. He continues his morn...

Tortoises's Birthday

All the animals in the jungle were gathered to celebrate the tortoises birthday. The lion suggested that the animals each tell their funniest joke to the tortoise so he could have a nice laugh. He also said that if their joke did not make the tortoise laugh, he would eat them. So the monkey went fir...

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Little boy and his grampa

So, a little boy is sitting with his great-grandfather, who used to be a big game hunter in his formidable years.

"Gramps, tell me a story about your days as a big game hunter" said the boy.

"Whaaaa?" replied his grandfather

"TELL ME A STORY ABOUT WHEN YOU USED TO
HUNT BIG ...

animal football

The animals were bored.

Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I've seen it on T.V."

He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the field...

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Mouse and Lion are sitting at the bar...

...checking out the wildlife. Lion says, "Check out Gazelle! I'd love the chase that."

Mouse replies, "Hmm... not sure how that would work out for her... but Giraffe, now she is FINE."

Lion almost falls off his stool laughing! "Giraffe?!? Uh... I'm not sure you're really up for th...

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