Gazelle Jokes

Cause they're running against cheetahs

A cantaloupe.

He’s really transformed himself. You could say he was born a gnu.

Gazzelion

Two hunters fly to Kenya, where they bag six gazelles. As the crew is loading the small plane to return, the pilot says the aircraft can take only four gazelles back.

“Last time, the pilot let us take all six, and he had the same plane as yours,” argues the first hunter.

Reluctantly, t... read more

He was consumed by pride.

This is due to the animal’s extremely powerful hind legs and the fact that a house can’t jump.

One beautiful morning Leo the Lion wakes up in his den, gives a big morning roar, stretches and starts off for the watering hole.

On his way he comes across a monkey sitting on a rock. Leo grabs the monkey, gives him a slap and asks "who's the king of the jungle"?
The monkey says "You are ... read more

In a certain tribe, in which polygamy was practiced, a married man’s standing in the tribe depended upon the combined weight of his wives-the greater the combined weight, the more important was the man. Every year, on weighing day and according to custom, the married men would stand their wives on n... read more

... and throws a rotting gazelle onto the desk. The counter person shouts "what is this?" and the hyena says "it's my carrion".

Two buzzards were at the check in counter at their local airport answering the usual questions. The desk agent finally noticed the piece of rotting gazelle they had brought with them.

"Are you going to check that?" the agent asks.

"No. That's my carrion."

Lions, as everyone knows, are the kings of the animal kingdom. Apex predators of the Serengiti, there are few who can stand steady in the face of their mighty roar.

Unfortunately for lions, however, they are rather limited in their mobility. When it comes to such places as ice, water, and air... read more

Finally the lion had an idea. He tells the other animals how he's seen the humans play a game called American football. He proceeded to tell them how it's played and explained its rules. This got them excited.

They chose their teams and went out to an open field. The lion's team received, and... read more

Everybody knows that the lion is the king of the jungle. Always has been, and for generations it seemed like he always would be. One afternoon, however, after a particularly poorly received watering hole decision, the elephant had had enough.

“Lion,” he said, “I’ve been your major domo for a... read more