UPJOKE
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A Knife Juggler

A man was pulled over by a police officer.

As the officer approached the vehicle he noticed a large number of knives in the back seat. Looking at the driver he asked, "Sir, do you have a good reason for needing all those large knives?"

Smiling the driver said, "Why yes, I juggle them...

Four men are watching a juggler...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a man do some juggling on the street. The juggler notices that the men can't see very well, and stands on some boxes.
"Can you all see me now?" He calls
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."

How did the juggler become so rich?

He knew how to balance his checkbook.

so a guy is speeding down a freeway, miles above the speed limit, and a cop pulls him over.

he comes up to the man and asks, "why were you speeding today sir?" the man replies, "i'm a juggler in a circus, and i'm late for my next show. i apologize. i assume you'll be needing my license and registration."

the cop looks intrigued, and says "whoa, hold on a sec. my daughter loves juggl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A juggler gets pulled over for speeding...

The cop approaches and asks “what’s your hurry?”

“Well”, explains the juggler, “I’m running late for a juggling performance”

The officer looks into the empty car, “I don’t see any juggling equipment... how do I know if I can believe you?”

The juggler perks up “well all my stuff...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

State Trooper pulls a car over

A Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-35 about 2 miles south of Waco Texas. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a magician and a juggler and was on his way to Austin to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

 

The tr...

A professional juggler

Is just someone who gets payed to play with their balls

That juggler must be sick.

He keeps throwing up!

A juggler, and the police....

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

"What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" asks the cop.

"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."

"Oh yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Lets see you do it."

The juggler ge...

I am the best juggler in the world.

(deleted) -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

Why couldn't the juggler perform on the big stage?

He didn't have the balls

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, there lived a very famous juggler...

He gained notoriety and fame by managing to juggle up to 15 balls at once with impressive dexterity. He could juggle them behind his back, he could juggle them blindfolded, he could even juggle them while standing on his head. His skill was unmatched and all of his shows were sold out, no matter wha...

An American man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins.

The juggler notices they're having a bit of trouble, so he stands on a large wooden box and says to them, "Can you see me now?"

They answer one at a time:

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

If you ever get in a knife fight with a group of clowns

Go for the juggler

How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but you need three light bulbs.

The village of idiots.

There is a village of idiots. Every month the village gathers in the town square, where 3 people from the neighboring town each bring in an object so,the town's folk can guess what it is. It's great fun for the whole town women, men, young and old alike join the festivities. The first person walks t...

What's the difference between a man with multiple stab wounds and a knife juggler?

Practice.

What’s the one rule about fighting circus freaks?

Always go for the juggler.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are in a carnival

Watching a juggler juggle 4 burning fire brands. He notices that the four are quite short and are on their tiptoes just to be able to have a glance at his juggling skills.

Being the showman, he jumps on to a large wooden box while still keeping the firebrands juggling and asks, "Can y'all ge...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Say you're being attacked by a circus mob. What's the best strategy?

Go for the juggler.

An Oklahoma State Trooper pulls over a circus clown for speeding

The trooper asks the clown "Why were you driving so fast?" The clown says "I'm headed to Tulsa for a circus show and I don't want to be late." The trooper asks the clown "What do you do in the show?" "I'm a juggler" says the clown.

"Alright" says the trooper, "If you juggle for me here, I won...

I asked a hitman for advice on how to kill a clown. He told me...

Go for the juggler.

You're walking through the woods late at night, and come across a group of killer clowns. What's the best move to keep yourself alive?

Go for the juggler.

My uncle once killed in an entire circus troupe with one blow

When I asked him how he did it, he said:

“I went straight for the juggler”

If there's one thing I've learned from fighting against groups of clowns...

...It's to always go for the juggler.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Would like some joke help. Tell me your best one liner.

I'm going to a murder mystery party Saturday and my character is supposed to be a gypsy juggler who is clever and funny. I just learned to juggle, now I need some jokes. Quick witted and one liners are preferred. Thanks for the help.

PSA: For whatever, unforeseen events that find you are about to be attacked by a mob of clowns. This one important tip can and might possibly save your life.

Always go for the Juggler

How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler
Just heard that one and made me smile hope it does the same for you

What do you call a man with 3 balls?

A juggler!

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