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Rodeo Jokes

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Little Johnny went to his first rodeo with his mom and dad...

Dad went off to buy a beer, and little Johnny happened to spy the bull's cock flopping around beneath his belly.

"Mommy, mommy! What's that long thing beneath the bull's belly!?" Johnny asks, pointing.

Embarrassed, his mom looks away and mutters, "Oh, don't worry about that, Johnny. T...

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A DEA agent stopped by my farm yesterday.

“I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said.

“By all means officer, just don’t go in that field over there”, I replied.

The DEA officer exploded, saying “Do you know who the fuck I am?! I have the authority of the federal government with me!”, he shouted before pul...

Why was the rodeo clown frustrated with his job?

He was tired of all the bull.

Tommy at the rodeo

A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him to the local rodeo especially to see the greatest bucking bronco of all time, Blue Steel.

Blue Steel was famed and renowned throughout the West for being the toughest meanest horse there ever...

What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?

… This ain’t my first rodeo

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Rodeo fuck

Ever had a rodeo fuck? Get your significant other on her knees and enter her. Whisper in her ear, "You're not as tight as your sister." Now try and hang on for 8 seconds.

Covid is canceling out all of these fun events like Circus’s, rodeos, and concerts.

In about a month, it will really be no Fair.

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I think I enjoy the rodeo position the most

Its where you get your girl down on all fours and mount her from behind then you reach around cup her tits and whisper in her ear.

"Boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters."

then you try and hold onto 30 seconds.

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Rodeo sex

Man asks his buddy what’s best kind of sex ? He says rodeo sex . What’s that? It’s when your doing it from behind and you tell your girlfriend “you know you kinda look like your sister from the back“and then you try to hold on for 8 seconds.

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Two cowboys are out riding the range and talking about their favorite sex positions

The first cowboy says the “rodeo” position is his favorite.

The second cowboy says he’s never heard of it before and asks how to do it.

The first cowboy responds, “Well, you mount your lady from behind then reach down and grab her tits. Then you whisper ‘these feel almost as good as ...

I was in the “cheap seats” at the Rodeo and I began to heckle the people in front because they were getting splashed by mud…

…boy, did I get some dirty looks.

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Have you ever tried Rodeo Sex?

You get your wife on all fours and bury your dick well in to her.

Then you say you are not as good as your sister, see how long you can stay on.

What’s the difference between a rodeo clown and a politician?

The rodeo clown tries to avoid the bull.

Heard about the do-it-yourself home rodeo?

Cook a romantic candle lit dinner for your girlfriend. Have a good bottle of wine, and then lead her quietly into the bedroom. You have already spread rose petals on top of the bed. Low seductive music in the background. Erotically take each other’s clothes off, get her up on the bed on all four...

Nobody beats me at the rodeo

Because I’m a great bullsitter

What's a rodeo clown's favorite type of bar?

A honky tonk!

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Ever heard of rodeo sex? NSFW

That's where you mount her from behind, then lean forward and whisper "this is how your sister liked it." and see if you can stay on for ten seconds! :)

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The Rodeo

Two ranchers are sitting on a fence taking a break while their cattle eat when one looks at the other and says, "What's your favorite sex position?"

The other rancher looks at him and says, "I'm a pretty plain guy, missionary I guess. What's yours?"

"Mine? I like the rodeo," the firs...

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Rodeo Sex

When you’re making love to your girl doggy style and bend over and whisper in her ear, “this is how your sister likes it too”, and try and hold on for 8 seconds.

What do you call someone who works at a rodeo?

An EmployYee.

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The Rodeo Position NSFW

Two men were conversing about their favorite sex positions on their way down to the ranch:

One of the men said "The rodeo position is my favorite but my wife never wants to try it again."

"I reckon I've heard of every position before but not of any 'rodeo' position before." the second...

What's the difference between an obese rodeo bull, and Dracula's girlfriend?

One's a fat bucker...

My wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.

We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs. She smiled as she said, "He mated 50 times last year."

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated ...

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Rodeo sex

2 cowboys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The first cowboy says his favorite position is the "rodeo". The other cowboy asks what the position is, and how to do it? The first cowboy says, You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once thi...

How do people at rodeos heckle the riders?

Moooo!

Sports injuries

An ice hockey player, a rodeo clown and a beautiful figure skater walk into a bar. After a couple of drinks they start to compare their injuries.

“None of my teeth are my own, I once lost seven teeth during one game.”, started the hockey player.

“Well, that’s nothing - during my care...

How can you tell that Wrestling is tougher than Rodeo?

When you win at Rodeo you get a buckle but win Wrestling and they give you the whole belt!

( ಠ ͜ʖಠ)

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Man, wife, and son at a rodeo...

Dad goes to get a beer when the son asked mom what it was hanging below the bull? Mom replies... that's nothing son. Dad comes back and mom has to pee, son asked dad, what's that hanging down from the bull? Dad replies.... son that's his penis. Boy: oh, mom said that's nothing. To which dad replies....

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Advice for the man who wants excitement in his sex life:

Try "Rodeo Screwing".

Mount your wife from behind, whisper "This is how I do it with your sister", and try to stay on for eight seconds.

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The definition of Rodeo Sex - When you accidentally call your partner by the wrong first name.....

Then try and stay on for 8 seconds.

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Favourite Sex Styles

Two cowboys were discussing about their favorite sex styles
Cowboy 1: My Favorite sex style is doggy style.
Cowboy 2: My favorite sex style is rodeo style.
Cowboy 1: Whats that?
Cowboy 2: Well it starts of just like doggy style.....then grasp her tits from behind and tell "this titties ...

The three biggest lies in Wyoming...

"I won this belt buckle in a rodeo, my trucks paid for and I was just helping that sheep over the fence."

Rodeo Position

Two old cowboys are sitting around a campfire and drinking. Somewhat drunk and not in the best frame of mind one turns to the other and say’s “I miss my missus, but when we make love it’s always the same”. Somewhat taken aback, but curious nonetheless, the other cowboy asks “how’s that?” “We alway...

What's the hardest part about riding a chicken at the rodeo?

All that buckin'.

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Hitler walks into a bar...

The bartender does a double take but doesn't say anything at first. "This cant be!" the bartender thinks to himself. Finally he decides to bring it up.

"Hey man, I don't want to bother you," says the bartender, "but you look *just* like Hitler."

"I am Hitler," says the fuhrer. "I'm bac...

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Sex positions

Two rednecks were sitting in a bar discussing their favorite sex positions. One of them says, “I think rodeo would have to my favorite”. The other one says, “I’ve never heard of that one, what is it?” So the first guy says, “You sit on your wife’s back with your hands on her boobs and say, ‘these fe...

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Ashley was a sorority girl at a New York college.

During Spring Break, she planned a trip to Texas. She told her sorority sisters that she had three goals: to eat real Texas barbecue, to see a real rodeo, and to have sex with a real cowboy.

When she returned from her trip, she told her sisters all about it. One asked if she had eaten real...

Did you hear about the rookie cowboy who made a mistake?

It was his first rodeo.

A man is on the the phone with a bartender.

He says to the bartender "Is there a young, blonde lady there?"

The bartender responds "There are dozens, sir. Be more specific."

"She's wearing a plaid crop top, ripped short jean shorts, boots, pigtails and a cowboy hat."

The bartender replies "yeah, she's here, what of it?"<...

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[Long] Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit their family's ranch.

In order to stay out of bankruptcy, they need to buy a bull to replace one who recently died. So the brunette goes online and finds a bull for sale in the city stockyards, about three hours away. The price of the bull is listed as $5,000.

Sadly, their inheritance wasn't much beyond the ranch,...

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A cowboy comes out of a cafe and sees that someone has painted his horse's balls red.

A cowboy just won first place in a rodeo in a small western town. So proud of his horse was he that he rode him to the neighborhood saloon. After tying the horse to a post, he went inside for a couple of brews.

When he came out of the bar a few hours later, he noticed that someone had painte...

Only in America

A European Count who had a fascination with the American West, arranged for a trip to a Texas town named Outlaw. Outlaw was small but didn't know it and the town fathers were determined to impress the Count with their worldliness. They arranged to have the local orchestra perform Beethoven's Ninth...

If you dressed up like a rodeo clown, broke into the capitol, and tried to destroy the democracy of the United States

You might be a redneck

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