A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

“Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special?”

“There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear tonight?”, she asks cheekily.
“Gold of course...

A student son is visiting his father and upon arrival is clearly upset about something.

His dad asks him what is the matter, and the son replies that he just had a horrible first date with this really pretty girl.

Dad asks what happened.

Son:

“Well she asked me if I go to college. I said no.

Then she asked me if I drive a Mercedes. I truthfully said no.
...

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Just heard this one at work. Clearly the boss is gone lol

A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo. She sees one behind the counter and tells the salesman, "I want that one!"

He replies, "It's not for sale."

The woman says, "Please I want *that* one," again he says it's not for sale.

The woman says, "I'll give you a hundred do...

The opposite of "pro" is "con"; that fact is clearly seen.

If "progress" means "move forward", then what does "Congress" mean?

I was having trouble leaving the building as the ways out were not clearly marked.

It was a true exit stencil crisis.

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A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes
wide and stared at the woman, but made no attempt to
start the cab.
The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong
with you, honey? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman
before?"
The old Jewish driver slowly answered, "L...

I've just walked past our local community centre and I could clearly hear these board-game enthusiasts...

...all stood in the porchway bragging endlessly about their various tournament accomplishments.

You might think that sounds like it would have been pretty annoying for me, but infact...





I rather like the sound of chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

A man had a girlfriend called Lorraine, but was cheating on her with a woman called Clearly.

Unfortunately, Lorraine got into a car accident and died. At the funeral, the man stood up and said 'I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone.'

Joe worked a office job working numbers. His wife is Larain. Joe hasn’t been in love with Larain for the past couple of years. He gets a new co worker named clearly and she is a dime piece. She sets next to him and after a couple of weeks they hit it off.

Clearly makes a pass at joe and let’s him know she likes him. Joe can’t leave his wife so he is in, a situation. A couple days later Joe is at work and his boss calls him in, he tells Joe that unfortunately his wife Larain has drove off a cliff and died. Joe to his bosses amazement lights up with jo...

The Spitting Cobra's venom can make you go blind. What Swedish snake can help you see more clearly?

The Vindshield Viper!

Does anyone ever clearly remember being breast fed?

No? Well I guess, then it's just a faint mammary.

On my online dating profile it clearly says that I’m 6 foot - 4 inches

So why when I turn up are woman always disappointed that I’m 5’8”

An chinese dad sees his newborn child and is startled when he realises the kid is clearly white.

He runs to the doctor and asks:

"Doctor, is it even medically possible for me and my wife - both chinese - to have a caucasian-looking baby?"

The doctor, turns to him, thinks for a bit, and replies:

"No. Two Wongs don't make a white."

My aussie friend was clearly impressed with me..

When i spotted him amongst the dense crowd of people.

Without skipping a beat, first thing he said to me was, “good eye mike!”

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A man wanders about a casino and sees a gorgeous woman who is clearly bored

"Hello, I see you're sad, what happened?", he asks.

"Well, I'm not sad really, just a little bored", she answers, "you see, I'm a little kinky and most men around my social status don't really seem to like it".

"Oh really? Well I enjoy being kinky too, so it seems that we have the same...

A man cheats on his girlfriend, Lorraine, with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine dies. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings loudly, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

I was walking with my girlfriend when a random guy whistled at her and said "nice ass". She was clearly annoyed and demanded I say something.

So I turned around and said: "Thank you I've been doing squats"

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Watson walks in on Sherlock having sex with a clearly underaged girl

Watson: "Bloody hell, Sherlock! What'd you think you're doing with that girl. She looks like she's in middle school!"






Sherlock: "Elementary, my dear Watson."

I walked past the church and I clearly heard two bell-ringers arguing

They were having a right old ding-dong

Guys: never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview...

They will clearly see your nuts.

A man cheats on his wife Lorraine with a girl called Clearly

Suddenly Lorraine dies.

At her funeral the man stood up and sang "I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone..."

After installing a personal budget control app, I saw how much money I spend on beer every month. This opened my eyes. Clearly, I shouldn't do this anymore.

I deleted the app.

I’ve been ridiculed by both sides for not picking an ideology. The very fact that I can’t clearly define which way I roll seems to enrages people.

I don’t pay attention to how I put the toilet paper on.

Since Kim Jong Un clearly likes Trump, can we finally all agree that Trump is...

very Un-attractive?

I ordered a new blender but they sent me one that had clearly been used.

Seems like there was a mix up at the store.

A blonde goes into a library and, speaking clearly and loudly, orders a burger, fries and a milkshake.

The librarian rolls his eyes and says, exasperated, "This is a library, ma'am."
So the blonde leans in and whispers, "Sorry. I'll have a burger, fries, and a milkshake."

Lorraine and Clearly

A guy had an abusive girlfriend named Lorraine. Lorraine didn't know her boyfriend was cheating on her with a lovely girl named Clearly. In August Lorraine died. At the funeral, People wondered why the guy wasn't sad,and why he was so happy.
When they asked him why he was so happy at the funeral ...

At the end of a busy night in a bar a clearly drunk man approaches the bartender. "Hey man," he says, "I'll bet you $50 I can stand at one end of the bar and pee clear to the other end." He has to clean the bar anyway, so this sounds like an easy 50 to the bartender. He agrees.

"Great! I'll be right back." The man then approaches a group of wasted guys in expensive suits and after a little bit of chatting and back slapping, he returns. He climbs onto the bar, whips it out and proceeds to pee...no more than a foot or so distance. The bartender laughs to himself, thinking h...

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President Trump's vocabulary is clearly above 4th grade,

for he knows such fancy words as "shithole".

Bill Clinton said Hillary is clearly the best choice for president...

He knows for a fact there is no chance she'll blow it.

I went on a date with a girl who was clearly out of my league.

But she'd heard that I was going to see a movie she wanted to see, and we made a date of it.

On the way over I thought I might get lucky so I went to the drug store and bought a box of condoms.

When I stopped at her house, her family invited me to dinner. I asked if I could say the b...

The bible purposely leaves out the decade of Jesus' life in his 20s because he was clearly a ladies man...

I mean, he can turn water into wine, and was well hung. What do you expect!

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Speak clearly

A man and woman hook up at a bar. They go back to his place and things quickly start getting hot. Soon they are both naked in bed. He is kissing her all over her body and soon his face is in her crotch licking and kissing her. She hears a muffled voice coming from between her legs saying "urinate, ...

Went to a restaurant last night and the waitress had a black eye. I ordered slow and made sure to speak clearly.

Because she obviously doesn't listen.

A man walks into a bar and sees a friend at a table, clearly depressed and drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," his friend replied, "and left me $25,000. Then in September my father died, leaving me $90,000." "Losing both parents in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and...

A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a toad on the shore, "Hey, look at me, I'm on a lake!" The toad yells back,

"Naw man, you're in de-nile"

A man sneezes on the subway who clearly has a cold.

The man next to him says in a disgusted tone, "people like you make me sick."

A clearly exhausted Pao walks into a pub and orders a drink....

The bartender asks "long day?"

"No, all days are 24 hours long" Pao replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," mused the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and quite beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No way! They have no clothing and no shelter," the Russian points out. "They have only an apple to eat, a...

If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole

you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

A Priest, a Politician, and an Engineer are set to be executed by guillotine during the French Revolution.

The Executioner brings the Priest up first. He ask him if he'd like to lie facing down or facing up for his death. He responds that he would like to be facing up, so he can see the heavens while he's going to God. So the Executioner lays the Priest down in the guillotine facing up. He then releases ...

A true incident...

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenient travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS”

The a...

My brother and I both went to the mall today.

We were both hanging around, having a nice time together. Then suddenly out of a blue, a guy came up to us, holding a lighter in his hand. He looked awfully fishy and he gave us a strange stare.


"Hey, boys. Ya mind if I ask ya a question?"


"What is it?" My brother asked, unper...

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Why couldn't the pony speak clearly?

He was a little hoarse.

Lorraine is gone...

There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She was very pretty and he liked her a lot.

One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started working there. Her name was Clearly, and she was absolutely gorgeous.

He began to like her and after a while it became obviou...

A guy goes to the psychiatrist wearing shorts made of clear plastic wrap.

The psychiatrist says, "Well, clearly I can see your nuts."

Next year will be the year we all look back and

see everything so clearly because hindsight is 2020

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Zeus is offering a seat in his Pantheon to one who can complete his trials of strength.

An esteemed hero of all men approaches Olympus and thinks hey, why the hell not. If I lose I may be disappointed, but if I win I will join the legendary Gods of the Pantheon!


So he makes his way to Zeus, excited to see what is in store for him in order to prove his worth to the Gods. Al...

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A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service. Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi.

Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he’d make his day interesting by having a little fun with the Rabbi.

“Rabbi,” he said, “I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.”

“Yes,” answered the Rabbi.

“Well, Ra...

A young woman was moving into a new home in the suburbs—her first time away from family.

She decided to take residence in a house that was built by a small family several years ago. There was some construction to be done, however, so she called one of her friends who had a background in architecture to point her in the right direction.

He arrived early one morning, surveying the ...

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A man walks into a therapist's office wearing nothing except Saran Wrap

The therapist says, "clearly I can see your nuts"

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Doctor: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live."

Man: "Doc, what on Earth are you saying?”, clearly shocked. “What can I do to live at least a little longer?"

Doc: "Well, do you eat greasy and fried food?"

Man: "Yes."

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "If it allows me to live longer, I'll do it!"

Doc: "Do you drink...

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Husband says to his wife that he is going golfing. She gets upset because she thought they would spend the day together.

Husband: "honey just give me the day I need to relieve some stress. Besides You don't even golf."


Wife: "I want to learn and besides it's something we can do together."


The husband begrudgingly accepts his wife request and they go to the golf course. On the first tee the hu...

Two men stand next to each other at a urinal...

One looks to the other and says "Can you guess where I'm from?"
The other guy looks to him, giving him a once over and says: "Well I can clearly see European."

A pilot and a copilot are getting ready to land their plane on an exotic foreign runway on a foggy day

The pilot says “I’ve heard that this runway is pretty short, so why don’t you go ahead and give me quarter flaps, so we can slow this plane down. The copilot acknowledges, and gives quarter flaps.

As they begin to see the runway through the fog, they start to see how short the runway is. The ...

The secret to success in the corporate world

A young professional parks his battered old car outside his office one morning. Stepping out, he sees the CEO sweeping into the car park in his brand new, sparkling, top of the range Mercedes S Class.

Starstruck, and knowing this company has an ethos of openness which means everyone is appro...

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In 450 BC a Greek and a Roman are sitting around, discussing who has more reason to be proud of their heritage

Roman: We are clearly the superior society, after all, we invented aqueducts so cities and fields alike could grow

Greek: Perhaps, but we invented the water mill for grinding abundant grain, so that it could be stored and feed the people. Plus, we developed cartography, mapping out the world....

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Emergency supplies.

Three friends decide to go on a luxury cruise around the world. On the third night, the ship suffer's catastrophic damage in a storm and begins to sink. The three jump overboard and cling to debris to stay afloat. The next morning, they awake to find themselves washed up on a nearby small island. Th...

When I become a lawyer I want to defend a penguin.

Just so I can say the words “Your Honor, clearly my client is not a flight risk.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week I saw an old couple having sex in a plane.

Clearly, they were fucking high.

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Damn girl are you a pink Himalayan salt lamp?

Cuz this clearly isn’t working and I still feel like shit when I’m around you.

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A DEA agent stopped at our farm yesterday.

“We are going to need to search your land for illegally grown drugs.”

I said, “that’s fine, but don’t go into that field over there. You won’t like it.”

Agitated by this, the officer explodes saying, “do you see this god damn badge son?! This badge means I can go where I please, when I...

A hideous little orc is in the kingdom's capital, looking to acquire medicine for his sick mom.

Nobody can stand the sight of him, with some even threatening violence of he doesn't leave.
He finds and alchemist's medicine shop at the market and tells him about his mother's illness.

"Ah, but of course!" says the alchemist, "It's clearly a case of Sakiara Fever. It's not very common at...

It's foolish to compare apples and oranges

But oranges are clearly better

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WW2 - A german, a japanese and an italian soldier get captured by the Soviets

They are to be interrogated for information by Soviet Intelligence.

The Intelligence officer tells them:

I will take you one by one into the next room and torture you until you are telling me what I want to know.

He starts with the German, takes him from the group cell into the ...

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My Loving Wife

A couple years ago I met the love of my life. She's beautiful, intelligent, and compliments all of my weaknesses with her strengths. Recently, she became pregnant and I could not be more filled with joy. We found out we were having a boy, which was the perfect icing on the cake. Now there will be so...

I hate when people say age is just a number.

Age is clearly a word.

American Indian female wrestling

A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the animal hide with which they made their blanket. Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide. This tribe had a particularly large and strong woman, with a very unique...

A university student wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch

However, the teacher looked at the student with an arrogant face and said:

'A swan shan't be friends with a pig.'

'Then I shall fly on,' answered the student with a smile.

The teacher was clearly vexed by the cheeky reply and decided to make sure to do everything in his power to...

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[Long] A guy walks into a bar and demands 3 shots of tequila. Bartender obliges and says, "rough day?". "You have no idea!", the guy replies as he slams down the shots...

He begins telling him about his horrible day when a jar full of money at the end of the bar catches his eye. "What's that jar of money for over there? It's full to the brim of $10's and $20's!"

Bartender tells him it's a challenge he offers to his patrons, $10 to play, and you have to complet...

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Three school teachers go to the nude beach: the math teacher, the history teacher, and the logics teacher. Suddenly, the female principal goes by them. So the math and history teacher put their newspapers on their private parts, while the logics teacher puts it on his face.

After the principal leaves, the first two ask the logics teacher: Why did you put your newspaper on your face? She clearly saw your junk!

That's the thing! I'm mostly recognised by my face!

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to ...

A tourist in Mexico goes into a bar to get wasted

It’s his last week on vacation and one of the things on his bucket list to do is basically to drink until he is completely wasted. As the night prolongs, he notices little by little the bar begins to empty. The bartender in his best English that he can muster says to him, “Señor, I think you should ...

A man in the bar offers to bet anyone $100 that his dog can talk.

At first everyone is dubious, but after the man clarifies he means complete grammatically correct sentences, and they make sure there are no hidden devices on the dog, several bets are made.

The man: Well, Charley?

Charley lifts his paw.

The man: Charley, come on, say something...

Trump is at an elementary school assembly and asks,...

"Does anyone know what a tragedy is?"

A kindergartener raises her hand and the president chooses her to answer, "A car crash."

"No, not quite." Responds Trump, "that would be an 'accident' ".

He then chooses a 4th grade boy. "If a school bus went off a cliff and all the kids die...

An Irish Man Walks Into A Bar...

...and stumbles to the bartender. “Barkeep, Oi’ll have a point”, he slurs.

The bartender looks him over critically. “A pint? Sorry sir, but I can’t serve you. You’re clearly too drunk.”

The Irish man scrunches his eyebrows, peers at the barkeep, turns around and trips out the front doo...

Two church members were going door to door.

They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them.

She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, the door did not close.  In fact, it bounced back open.  Seeing the two chur...

I saw a cop pull over a U-haul

Clearly he was trying to bust a move.

I used to work at a psychiatric hospital

And this guy walks in wearing nothing but Saran wrap.

He tells the receptionist, “I think I need to see a psychiatrist.”

Receptionist replies, “no need for an evaluation. I can clearly see ur nuts.”

A chemist, a mechanic, a electrician, and a programmer were driving in a car when it broke down.

"This must be because we've mixed the wrong fuel additive!" said the chemist.



"Bollocks!" said the mechanic. "This is clearly a mechanical problem. There must be something wrong with the engine."



"Both of you are wrong. The problem lies with the car wiring and the batte...

A priest told me this joke as a kid.

There were 3 men, they were best friends, and they were quite unhealthy. Their names were, Bert, Chester, and Earl.

They were actually really unhealthy and Bert decided that he needed to take charge of him and his friends' health. He decided that they were going to be on a diet together to he...

A date told me she'd love to have visited the Soviet Union at it's greatest. I got out of there real quick.

It was clearly a big red flag.

There was a lad named John

There was a lad named John who was dealt a bad hand since he was born. He was an orphan who was brought up in a for profit orphanage, leading him to suffer mental trauma amongst other issues. After turning 16, he was kicked out of the orphanage with no support whatsoever. Not knowing what to do, he ...

A drugs squad officer stopped at a farm

...near Bradford, and talked with an old farmer.

He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs."

The farmer said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there...", as he pointed out the location.

The drugs squad officer verbally exploded saying, "Mis...

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The Single Use Time Machine

A scientist invites his friend over to his lab to ask help him decide what to do.

Scientist: So, I've invented a single use time machine and I need help deciding what to do.

Friend: Well, isn't that obvious? You've gotta kill Hitler.

Scientist: Are you sure? Think about what ...

A woman bursts into the clubhouse at a golf course, out of breath...

“Is there a doctor in the house?” She gasps.


A guy nursing a pint at the bat looks up. “What seems to be the problem?” He asks.

“I’ve been stung by a bee.” She replies.

“Where?”

“Between the first and second holes.”

He returns to his drink. “Clearly madam, your...

A man runs into a psychiatric hospital completely naked and wrapped in cling-film.

A doctor runs up to him saying "I don't know what's bothering you, but I can clearly see your nuts!"

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A man goes to his doctor with a sore arm.

He sits down on the exam table and the doctor looks at his arm.
"What seems to be the trouble today, Mr. Wainscotting?", the doctor asks.
"Doc, I've got terrible pain starting in my bicep and extending down to my forearm." replies Mr. Wainscotting.
"Let's have a look."
The doctor examine...

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An employee of a sex toy shop answers a call from a customer...

“Hi, I purchased a cock cage from your store on Tuesday. Even though the box clearly states it’s made for men with extra large penises, the cage was still too small to fit me,” the customer explained.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the worker responded. “But unfortunately, it sounds like you did o...

A teacher asked her students: “when you go to heaven, which part of your spiritual body goes first?”

A teacher asked her students: “when you go to heaven, which part of your spiritual body goes first?”

Little Anna raised her finger.

“Yes Anna?”

“I think the hands go first”, she said.

“Why is that?”, asked the teacher.

“Because, when people pray, they raise thei...

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a pint from the bartender.

The second mathematician follows after him and orders half a pint.

The third mathematician follows along and orders a quarter of a pint.

The fourth mathematician then comes up to the bar and orders one-eighth of a pint....

Blowing Bubbles

Four men are brought into a courtroom.

The first man walks up to his stand and the judge asks his him "what did you do?" The man responds "I was blowing bubbles in the park". The judge, clearly shocked, exclaims "why would you get arrested for that? You're free to go".

The second man ...

Champion Nails is in trouble.....

Stan owns Champion nails the company. Sales are well down. One night he meets an old friend in the local pub. (Its a nice old pub, with a lovely barmaid with a beautiful rack, and hops and things hanging everywhere). Anyway, Stan is telling his old friend - Chester, how things are not going well and...

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The Party

When I was 8, my parents were throwing their annual formal dinner party. After much pleading, I was finally able to convinced them to let me greet and welcome everyone to the party.

One day, my parents got into an argument about the seating arrangements. The argument ended when dad called mo...

Three blonds decide to go hunting.

Eventually, they come across some tracks. One blond says they're bear tracks. Another calls her an idiot, claiming they're clearly deer tracks. The third blond is really regretting this trip, she can see they've circled back upon their own tracks, and are now lost. The argument was just getting heat...

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A man goes to the doctor about a lisp.

He says, “Doc I feel fine, it’th juth that I can’t thpeak clearly. I have thith lithp that I can’t theem to get rid of.”

The doctor replies, “Ok, let me have a look then.” and proceeds to examine the man. “Ahh, I see the problem here. Your penis is so long that it’s weight is pulling on your ...

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The affair

A 29 year old man was dating a woman called ‘Lorraine’ they had been together a few years but the relationship started to get stale.

One night the man went to a bar to get away from his wife and met a woman named “Clearly” they hit it off and went back to hers to have sex.

The man beco...

He wanted a few days off

A Guy urgently needed a few days off work,
But, he knew the Boss would not allow him to leave.
he thought that maybe if he acted "Crazy"
Then he would tell him to take a few days off.
So, he hung upside-down on the ceiling &
Made funny noises.
His co-worker (who's blonde)! aske...

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A bartender asked a patron why he is so sad...

The patron replies, "sad? This is turning out to be the best day of my life." The bartender presses on however and once again asks, "if today is the best day of your life why do you look just so sad?" The patron thinks about it for a second and tells the bartender "i dunno what to tell you its a gre...

A man walks up to the store clerk and asks "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"

The guy (clearly offended) says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or...

If people think banks are the greediest business

They’ve clearly never gone to the movies

A new bakery is just opened when suddenly a man runs in,

screaming from the top of his lungs:

"I f\*cked your mom!"

The man runs out as fast as he came in leaving a visibly annoyed baker. The rest of the day works out fine but come the next day, right about the same time as the day before, the same man runs in. Again, from the top of his lun...

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A lawyer's trick . . .

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the...

A farmer has 895 sheep.

Realising that this is quite a lot of sheep for one farm, and Jess the sheepdog is getting a bit old, he decides he'll probably need a new dog- no, a whole team of dogs- to round so many sheep up.

So the next day, the farmer goes to the pet store. He looks around at the various herding dogs- ...

So Tom is at a Ghetto Strip Club

He sees a clearly obese woman dancing on a table, and is amazed. He walk over to her and says "damn those are some really nice legs". "Awe you really think so?" She replied. "Yeah for sure, most tables would have collapsed by now."

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A rich Mexican buisnessman by the name of Jesus bought an apartment at the top floor of Burj Khalifa

He decided to invite his father to view his apartment and have a nice time together.He sent a plane ticket for his father in Mexico, and ordered his personal assistant to wait for him outside the airport.

When the father arrived, the assistant approached him to carry his luggage. The father a...

Jim the security Guard is working at the Mexican/American border, and stops a car at a checkpoint.

The driver shows the guard his license, visa, and passport, but is clearly nervous and is sweating bullets. Jim pops the trunk open to reveal four large bags. He opens them, only to reveal that each and everyone of them is filled with dirt.



One week later, Jim stops the same driver. O...

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