UPJOKE
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Transparent Jokes

Transparent

As a child I always used to wonder how come I have two female parents. Now that I am wiser, it's TransParent.
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Apparently my alarm clock is transparent

I slept right through it
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My girlfriend is pretty transparent.

It’s like she’s not even there.
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A man ran to the doctor’s wearing transparent plastic.

“Doctor, I think I’m going insane!”

“Well, I can clearly see your nuts”
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Will transparent coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.
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They found a transparent octopus.

I guess you can say the little guy really knows how to clear his mind!
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Why is a genie's lower half transparent?

So you don't see their Djinn-itals.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack Russle and Great Dane at the vets...

A Jack Russell and a Great Dane are in the waiting room at a vets...

JR: "Why are you here ?"

GD: "Fuck off."

JR: "No, come on, let's be friendly, we're both dogs, we don't want to be here, we should support each other,"

GD: "<sigh>"

JR: "I'll tell you why I'...

I once dated a girl who was quite transparent..

I'm not sure what I saw in her.
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I've started selling transparent urns, and I think this business could really take off.

Remains to be seen.
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What do you call a pregnant woman with a transparent belly?

A womb with a view.
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What do you call transparent women’s underwear?

See-through

And what about men’s underwear?

See-three.
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The company I work in is pretty transparent

In 3 month, there's about 4 cases of people running into the glass door.
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my public pool's showers has two different soap dispensers one is white and the other soap is transparent

i asked my life guard about the difference between them

he said that the white one is shampoo for hair

and the transparent is for the body.

me being bald i asked him: so i use one soap?

he was silent for a second while he looked at my body me wearing only my swimming shor...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While playing superhero's with my friend he told me his parents were transparent

I replied: "You mean invisible?" He said "No, my mom's beard is growing faster than my dad's tits".

A man wearing transparent underwear walked into a psychiatrist's office

The psychiatrist said, "I can see you're nuts"
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my wife "If I was an inanimate object, what would I be?"

She said "a window"

I thought about it for a minute and then said "Is that because I'm transparent, I let the sunshine into your life and shield you from the rain?"

She looked up slowly, smiled and said "No it's because you're a fucking pane"

Doctor, doctor, I can't stop wearing transparent underpants.

Well, I can clearly see your nuts.
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If anyone tries to sell you a transparent driving wheel...

Steer clear.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the government that decided to be more transparent?

It spent 3 billion on an office building made entirely out of glass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the future Mexico became the wealthies, most transparent, most peaceful, most progressive, most developed and most prosperous nation in the Americas while the US became a 3th world shithole.

As such many Mexicans decided to move back to Mexico but among them there were also Americans trying to emmigrate. As such the border checks were supposed to make sure that those going in Mexico were Mexicans and not American immigrants.


A man aproaches the border and is asked: "What's yo...

A scientist tried to recreate the Chernobyl disaster using only transparent gases

It was a new, clear reaction.
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I didn't mind that my Dad came out saying he wants to be a woman

At least he's transparent about it.
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It was a difficult conversation telling my son to call me dad instead of mom now

But I wanted to be transparent.
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I always wanted a super power, so I named my son Tran

I can’t quite turn invisible, but at least I’m transparent
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always knew my Dad was gay...

But when they said they wanted to transition, I was even less surprised. They were always..... Transparent.

Donald Trump is like top shelf vodka

Expensive, Transparent, and wouldn't be here if not for Russia.
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My Dad said he wanted to be more transparent with me from now on

Now he’s my mom.
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What they call a transexual's father

!<transparent>!

What do you call a parent-teacher conference where the teacher is invisible?

a transparent teacher conference.
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My kid came out to me as trans and asked if I still accepted them for who they are. I told them quite clearly that I loved them no matter what they chose.

I was being transparent.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My parents changed sex

Since both my parents changed sex, I can't see them any more. They became transparents.

My dad felt he was clearly a woman

I guess that makes him TransParent
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My Mother informed me today that she now identifies as my father.

I thanked her for being transparent.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After I changed sex, my daughter has been ignoring me..

It seems like I'm transparent

My dad recently told me he identified as a woman

I had no idea, but I'm glad he was transparent.
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It’s clear why my mom makes so many dad jokes...

She’s transparent.
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My dad is see through and used to be a woman.

He’s a transparent trans-parent.
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Q: What would a Trans person be called if he/she has a child?

A: Transparent!
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Did you see the news about the trans couple adopting kids?

It was *Transparent*
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My kid recently realized that they were born in the wrong body.

Now, I fully support anything they need to do to feel more like themselves, but I never imagined it would affect my social life like it has. The teachers won’t see me, my friends act like I’m not there. Hell even the mailman hasn’t made a delivery in weeks. I never realized how hard it was to be a t...
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I don't believe in ghosts....

I think if they were real, they'd be more transparent about it.
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The two old-timers...

...were having a chat over the back fence.


"You know, Chester," said one, "you should invest in some heavier curtains for your bedroom window."


"Why's that, Clem?"


"Because the ones you have now are kinda transparent. In fact, last night I could see you making love ...
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Why was the ghost progressive?

Because he had transparents.
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My mom just told me she used to be a man.

I love that she's transparent.
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Did you hear about the father who became a woman and disappeared?

He was transparent.
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I just heard there is a new term for 'kidnapper'

Its Transparent
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My trans child can’t see me.

It’s probably because I’m transparent.
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Caitlin Jenner Must Be Very Honest To Her Kids

She seems Transparent.
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What do you call a daddy that used to be a mommy?

Transparent
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2 Transformers got married

Soon thereafter, they had a baby Transformer. But at that moment when they had a baby, they suddenly could not be seen anymore.

They had become Transparents.
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Today my brother told me he was going to be a mom

It was a shock to hear, but I'm happy he can be transparent!
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My father revealed to the me that he likes to dress in women’s clothing.

I still don’t understand it, but I appreciate his effort at being transparent.
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So yesterday I wore a costume....

I am a male and I wore a see through shirt and pants. I completed my ensemble with a stuffed bra, long haired wig and lipstick. I pushed a baby doll around all night in a stroller holding the baby bottle....

I was a transparent transparent.
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A man walks into a psychologist's office..

A man walks into a psychologist's office wrapped head to toe in transparent cellophane...

The psychologist takes one look at him and says, 'I can clearly see your nuts.'
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A man is on a business trip...

and decides to buy his wife some new lingerie. A saleswoman greets him as he enters an expensive lingerie store, and asks him how she can help. Then man replies, "I'm looking for something made with very sheer fabric".

The saleswoman leaves for a minute and returns with a semi-transparent pi...
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Why can't you see Kylie Jenner's dad?

Because he's transparent
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What's the difference between my real dad and recycled saran wrap?

One's the transparent piece of garbage and the other's a garbage, trans-parent.
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Why can’t Kendall Jenner see her father anymore?

He’s transparent
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Why hasn't anyone seen Bruce Jenner in years?

Because he's transparent.
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I cornered my dad “You like dressing like woman, admit it!” He was ashamed and asked how I knew?

He’s too transparent
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Obama, Trump, and Bush were tossing around a football

On one pass, Trump throws the ball too far and it gets punctured on top of the White House fence.

Bush and Obama yell at Trump, saying he always manages to lose or destroy the football.

After a few minutes of angry stares, a Secret Service agent goes to Trump. He gives him another foo...
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