This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After incorrectly inserting my pin 3 times, I heard the unmistakable pained groans of my wife from behind me.

This voodoo doll is fucking amazing!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to his village medicine man and requests a colonic for his constipation.

The medicine man ponders for a moment and says, “Let’s try something else first.” He opens a jar and pulls out a dried out fern. He places the fern into a cup of hot water and waits as it brews. “Here, take a sip.” The man does as he is told. Suddenly, his eyes rolls back in his head, followed by th...

I once dated a mermaid

I didn't believe her at first, due to the human legs. But the smell was unmistakable.

Two TV wine tasters trying to out do each other

Food and drink show on TV doing a wine feature with 2 tasters being given a blind tasting. Both hate each other and are desperate to show off

The first taster takes a sip and says "oh this is clearly French, from the Rhone Valley"

The second cuts across him to say "Well, obviously, it'...

Same difference

Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.

“Did you get that for your birthday?” – asked Johnny.

“Nope.” – replied Jimmy. “Well, did you get it for Christmas then?”

Again Jimmy said “Nope.” “You didn’t steal it, did you?” – asked Johnny.

“No,” said J...

A blonde was on vacation in Louisiana with her boyfriend

She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay a fortune for them. So she headed out to the swamp, determined to catch herself an alligator. Her boyfriend stayed at the hotel.
Later that day, she stood waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. She he...

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An 80 year old man visits a brothel looking for a "date"...

but all of the girls are busy, so the madame takes him to her room. Eventually, after the lights go out, the unmistakable sounds of a great and furious copulation are heard. He was huffing and puffing, she was screaming and pleading, the floor was creaking ,and the bed was squeaking, until at last, ...

The programmer and the train

A programmer and his boss are traveling by train on a business trip, and not having any other place to sit, find a booth with a pretty young lady and presumably her mother sitting across from them.

The train enters a dark tunnel and two sounds ring clearly in the dark: one being the sound of ...

Sean Connery: He Only Carries Plastic

*Again, read in the man's unmistakable voice*

What's the difference between your mother and a hundred dollar bill?

Well, I don't have the cash on me to break a hundred. But I did break your mother last night.

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