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Christmas Decoration Jokes

I spent all evening putting the Christmas decorations up myself.

Now I'm at the hospital getting them removed.

I can't believe people are celebrating the Fourth of July early and lighting off fireworks already.

One of my neighbor's fireworks landed in my yard and almost lit my Christmas decorations on fire.

This year, Home Depot is selling Christmas decorations in the second aisle of the housewares section.

Aisle B, Home for Christmas.

Christmas decorations

Can I just ask everyone for a big favor? Those of you who are planning to place Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, can you please avoid anything that is red or blue and flashing? Every time I drive by, I think it's the police and have a panic attack. I have to take my foot off the accelerat...

I swear, people keep putting their Christmas decorations up earlier and earlier every year.

Christmas is 364 days away, can’t they wait?

At work I noticed the computer department have started putting Christmas decorations up

IT's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

What does Jeffrey Epstein have in common with Christmas decorations?

They’re always hung way too early.

Christmas Decor

A woman asks her eccentric husband to provide some holiday decorations for their home. He eagerly heads out to town for decorations and returns several hours later. The wife returns from her errands to find something perplexing. In the corner stands a Christmas tree with only a few needles and on it...

I named my Christmas decoration made of $100 dollar bills

Aretha Franklin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mom asks her kid to get Christmas decorations

A mom asks her kid to get Christmas decorations. She specifically wanted ornament balls to put up around the Christmas tree. The kid leaves the house and several hours pass but he hasn't returned yet.

After what seemed like an eternity, the kid comes back. The mom asks all flustered "What ha...

A man is tasked with setting out Christmas decorations on a submarine

He spends all night thinking about it, and eventually decides on a Christmas tree. He spends hours putting the tree up, adding tinsel, baubles, and finally the star on top. He takes a step back, and looks proudly at his work. But when he comes back to it later, he finds it torn down.

The next...

a guy walks into a bar for a Halloween party...

and is surprised to see the bar decorated for Christmas. "What's with the Christmas decorations?" the guy asks the bartender. "I thought this was supposed to be a spooky Halloween party." "Oh, these decorations are very scary for a lot of people," the bartender replies. "We're gonna terrify people w...

How does a redditor get karma when they don't deserve it?

Piece of ca.....I'm just kidding they ask what's a flat earther's favorite Christmas decoration?

Their s'no globe.

How can you tell Halloween is just around the corner?

Stores start putting out their Christmas decorations.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old lady was in bed with her young lover when she suddenly hears her husband pull into the driveway..

"Quick!" she tells her lover. "Hide in this cupboard!"

So saying she pushes the naked guy in the cupboard and hastily puts on her clothes. But the cupboard is a tight fit so the guy's balls are left out hanging between the cupboard doors.

The old husband enters the house and walks into...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

night before christmas (covid edition)

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,

Do you know why? Because none of us were

allowed out,

Looked out into the street and no Christmas decorations about,

Looked out of the window, what did I s...

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