UPJOKE
snowsnowballstatuesnowfallsnowflakeabominablephallusdollhouseigloobirdhousesleighicicleanthropomorphicsmileycarrot

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs

Why did the snowman take his pants off?

He heard the snow blower was coming.

What will a snowman give you if you offend him?

The cold shoulder

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My 10 year old son made this one up. Why doesn't a snowman wear snow pants?

Because his snow balls are too big.

What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?

Picking his nose.

why was the snowman smiling?

because he saw the snowblower coming down the street

What do you call an old snowman?

Water...



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*Courtesy of my 8-year-old this morning. Merry Christmas!*

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Why does it smell like carrots out here?

Why does it take so long to build a blonde snowman?

\- You have to hollow out the head

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

A woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses careful...

What song did the snowman sing as he tried to pick up a date?

"I Only Have Ice For You."

What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?

Get out of my face!

What do you call a snowman hooker?

A FROST-titute.

Why did the snowman smile?

Because the snowblower came around the corner

What's a snowman's girlfriend called?

She's a snowblower.

What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?

A meltdown ;)

What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?

The 'inedible snowman'.

What does a snowman eat for breakfast?

Frosted flakes.

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs!! Even years after hearing this, it's still my favorite winter joke.

How does Frosty the Snowman get to work?

By Icicle.

what do you get when you cross a snowman and a brick?

a brrrick

Why is Frosty the Snowman like my dad?

He said he'll be back one day

What do you call a snowman without a carrot?

Nobody nose.

What do you call a snowman wrapped in blankets?

A brrrrrrito

Where does a snowman keep his money?

In a......snow bank

So the snowman gets frisky with the vampire

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite

How does a snowman make you laugh?

It gives you an icetickle

In Colombia, kids have built a snowman.

The police guessed snowman's value at approximately $400 million.

What do you call a snowman that plays piano?

Meltin' John

What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

What did the snowman die of?

Frostate cancer.

Did you hear about the snowman who got angry when the sun came out?

He had a total meltdown

What do you call frosty the snowman’s wife?

A snow blower.

Why’d the snowman have to switch shampoo brands?

His old one got rid of flakes

What do you call a snowman dressed up as a cop?

Just-ice.

What is a snowman's favourite breakfast?

Ice Krispies.

Has the Abominable snowman called?

“Has the abominable snowman called?” my friend asked me

To which I replied

“Not Yeti”

A snowman tells another snowman.

Snowman 1: Guess what?

Snowman 2: What?

Snowman 1: You smell like carrots

ps. not sure if this joke has been posted before

It's hard dating a snowman...

His parents will never warm up to you.

What did the horse say to the snowman that lived nextdoor?

Hay Neigh Brr

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can you tell if a snowman is gay?

The carrot’s in the back.

My 6 year old son told me this one. "What do you call a snowman that's having a threesome with two hot princesses?"

I slapped my son and abruptly deleted his youtube kids app.

My 7yr old son told me this tonight. What do you call a snowman temper tantrum?

A meltdown


*edit* Thanks for the silver, its greatly appreciated

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Have an ice day.

It's a bad one, I know.

Madness at the Snowman's rave last night..

All the Carrots were off their faces

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Snowman's jizz?

Jack Frost

How does Frosty the Snowman go to the bathroom?

That’s snowbody’s business.

I made my first snowman today...

It was so white it's already been nominated to Trump's Cabinet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a snowman ejaculates?

Ice Cream

Does a snowman have a heart?

Nope, just big balls

What should a snowman never ask a rabbit?

Can you scratch my nose?

How can you tell a snowman from a snow woman?

Snow balls.


Yes. This is an old one. It's probably appeared here a million times. But it will be new to someone.

Why did the snowman name his dog frost?

Because frost bites.

What was the snowman doing in the carrot section of the grocery store?

Picking his nose

An attractive snow-woman notices a snowman gawking at her. She says,

“Listen pal, my ice are up here.”

What's the difference between a Snowman and a Snowwoman?

Snowballs



Courtesy of my daughter who comes home and asks if I want to hear a "dirty joke" she overheard from some elder school mates.

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