Homeschooling cancelled in Alabama

Too many students sleeping with their teachers.

All flights from John Lennon Airport are cancelled.

Imagine all the people.

Why was the laundromat cancelled on Twitter?

For reminding people to separate whites from colors

Nobody's heard from the Zamboni drivers since the NHL cancelled their season.

I'm sure they'll resurface at some point.

Today I cancelled my subscription to the decade

We've all been through 2020.

It has become clear to me that 2021 is pronounced "2020 won," and that 2022 is pronounced "2020 too."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear that they cancelled bungee jumping for blind people?

It scared the shit out of the guide dogs.

Back when the pandemic first hit, I had to tell my suitcase that my travel plans were cancelled.

Since then, I've constantly had to deal with emotional baggage.

3:15pm So the hockey season got cancelled in Canada because of the coronavirus

6:30pm Canada is now testing the vaccine for coronavirus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist

"I have a date this weekend with two smoking hot models. I want to be able to stay hard the whole time I'm with them. I'm looking for something stronger than Viagra!"

The pharmacist says "Well, I do have this new experimental drug. It works instantly and is guaranteed for three days without s...

Just got the email "Webinar on how to avoid frauds is cancelled"

And the fee is non-refundable.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm holding a meetup for overthinkers. Saturday at 5pm.

Wait. Saturday might not be the best day. Tuesday is better. Actually, what if no one shows up? Fuck it, meeting is cancelled.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

April fools day is cancelled

as no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on right now

With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'

It's on paperview

Why was the leper baseball match cancelled?

People started throwing hands

Why was Minecraft the movie cancelled?

Because all of the actors wore blockface.

I was worried my tightwalking class would be cancelled because of the lockdown

But it's all online now

Work got cancelled for two weeks, so I go to the grocery store on the way home.

I’ve seen all the news, lots of Facebook pictures of empty shelves, but I was not prepared for this madness. There’s a line of like five people by the frozen goods aisle, trying to get pizza.

So I decide to go get some ramen. I know it’s not the best, but it keeps forever and I’ve been perfec...

Did you hear Elizabeth Warren cancelled her campaign?

It wasn't the first race she has had to leave.

My university just cancelled classes after collectiing tuition, room, and board

The bookstore said my textbook edition was already out of date

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cat goes to the other animals at the barn with news from the house. (Long)

"My fellow animals, I heard that there's going to be a huge party this Saturday and they're going to slaughter you Cow."

The animals all gasp and start consoling Cow that everything is going to be alright.

Chicken, the bully, on the other hand is laughing hysterically. "Finally, we'll ...

April Fool's day has been cancelled due to coronavirus.

Everything you'll hear is true.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think it's weird that county fairs are being cancelled.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a *good* idea, but... I just figured that anyone who isn't afraid to hop onto a 60-year-old rusty roller coaster, that gets disassembled and reassembled 22 times a year by a traveling meth head with an allen wrench, while eating a deep fried stick of butter, wouldn't...

post malone has cancelled his tour :(

does that make him postpone malone?

***2020 CANCELLED***

After careful consideration, we have decided that it is no longer in the best interests of everyone involved to proceed with 2020.

While we recognize that a lot of hard work has gone into preparing for 2020, if we're honest it has just turned into a bit of a sh*tshow and we feel it best just ...

My wife just went into labor and our doula cancelled on us.

I’m having a midwife crisis.

My kid's pediatrician cancelled my appointment because i was 5 minutes late

He has very little patients.

The Italian government has cancelled the town of Ferno’s annual fiesta

This year there’ll be no disco in ferno

I can’t believe Comic Con 2020 got cancelled because of covid 19!

It was the one group of people who were 100% guaranteed to wear masks.

In order to support social distancing, the National Association for Celebacy has cancelled its March meeting.

Please share this message. They want to make sure nobody comes.

All this Corona cancelling events and stuff, hey do y'all know if they cancelled the rodeo or not?

Or are they holding their horses?

I hear Bavaria has cancelled all celebrations this fall.

Officials were worried that they'd be too German-fested.

Queen's birthday celebrations are cancelled for the first time.

In 100 years she will remember it and laugh

Due to the corona virus my wedding planned for the 8th of May got cancelled

The good news is that this will give me some time to find someone to marry

Cinco de Mayo is cancelled this year, so..

hold de Mayo

Breaking News - Devon and Cornwall Music Festival

The Devon and Cornwall Music Festival due to take place this weekend has had to be cancelled. They couldn't decide who to put on first, The Jam or Cream

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The prophecy class is cancelled...

Due to unforeseen circumstances

Pope Francis has cancelled the Easter events this year due to COVID-19.

I guess he’s just gonna Passover it this year.

Trump cancelled his trip to Britain because he doesn’t want to go anywhere he doesn’t feel welcome...

So what’s he still doing in the white house?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BBC's Sherlock got cancelled

Shit, no Sherlock.

If foreigners are upset to have had their visas cancelled...

Why don't they just apply for MasterCards instead?

Christmas is cancelled.

Santa has passed away by natural clauses.

Why did the Software Engineer reality TV show get cancelled?

People thought it seemed too scripted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled. A single agent was re booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said “I have to be on this flight and it has to be first class.”

The agent replied, “I am sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, “Do you have any idea who I am?”

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and gr...

This weeks hypochondriac meeting has been cancelled

due to sickness

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Psychic and Clairvoyants fair cancelled today...

Due to unforseen circumstances

Did you hear the Reddit Movie got cancelled?

It involved too much post production

The Infectious Disease Olympics has been cancelled as the first event was a complete disaster. All contestants drowned!!

Turns out Water Polio wasn't such a good idea.

Did you hear NASCAR and Formula One we're trying to make an Ultimate Showdown race but it got cancelled due to controversy?

Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races....

I cancelled my doctor's appointment recently

I was disappointed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Southwest flight is cancelled...

...and there's a long line waiting for a single agent to reschedule flights when an irate man walks to the front of the line and screams, "I HAVE TO BE ON THIS FLIGHT AND IT HAS TO BE FIRST CLASS!"


"I'm sorry sir but I have to help these other folks first.  I'll be happy to help you if yo...

A bumblebee suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat, realizing he has overslept and is about to miss his connecting flight home after a successful overseas business trip.

He makes a mad rush to the airport, suitcase in one hand, passport and airline ticket in the other. His tie flaps loose in the breeze, his shirt wrinkled and untucked, with his face covered in bushy bumblebee beard stubble.

He recklessly flies into the main entrance, nearly knocking over a fa...

Today's performance of Hamilton in Chicago was cancelled due to the cold.

Once again, Brrr killed Hamilton.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why would Hitler have had a Twitter account if it was around back then?

He cancelled cultures.

Why is it spelled “cancelled” in the UK, but “canceled” in the US?

Because the US handed the L back to the UK in 1776.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Almost got on a television show once....

So pissed they cancelled COPS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Barbie is cancelled.

In light of the recent events in Korea, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag fact...

Easter has been cancelled....

They found the body.

On and On

Mr. Johnson told Mary his secretary that he was going on a business trip to Chicago the following day and he wanted her to come with him. They'd be staying there for 2 days.

As soon as she got home, she told her husband Bob about this.
"Honey, my boss asked me to go on a business trip to...

Why was the lepers hockey game cancelled?

There was a face off in the corner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex with me is like a cancelled first date

It's over before it even started.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the spelling bee cancelled?

One of the participants spelled disaster.

What are the chances of my Ryanair flight being cancelled this Christmas?

Sky high.



\- I hate myself too

A man calls his doctor and says "I'd like to cancel my tomorrow's appointment."

The doctor replies:

- Well, in such a case it will not be refunded, as appointments need to be cancelled three days in advance if you want a refund.

- Can I have it rescheduled then?

- Yes. What do you think about 3:30 PM next Friday?

- That is all right.

- Thank y...

I was supposed to give a lecture on herpes today, but it was cancelled at the last minute.

Apparently it's a sore subject for a lot of people.

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