UPJOKE
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Homeschooling cancelled in Alabama

Too many students sleeping with their teachers.

Erectile disfunction support group has been cancelled

Nobody could come

I heard New years is cancelled in Russia this year.

They got no rockets left.

Why was the laundromat cancelled on Twitter?

For reminding people to separate whites from colors

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

April fools day is cancelled

as no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on right now

Why was the robot cancelled?

Because it didn't accept non-binary arguments

Nobody's heard from the Zamboni drivers since the NHL cancelled their season.

I'm sure they'll resurface at some point.

Why did the pirate get cancelled?

He used the hard "arr!"

All flights to John Lennon Airport have been cancelled

Imagine all the people...

They’re teaching apple juicing down the road from me, but it got cancelled before I could go.

It was a pressing issue.

TIL after his show on Netflix was cancelled, Jon Bernthal was forced to take a job as a doorman in a theatre who would occasionally warm up the audience with dad jokes

He became widely known as the pun usher.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dont Mess With Customer Service Agents...

Customer Service


A crowded United Airlines flight from Denver Airport was cancelled.

A single female agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers when an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk.

He slapped his ticket on the desk and said, “I have to b...

3:15pm So the hockey season got cancelled in Canada because of the coronavirus

6:30pm Canada is now testing the vaccine for coronavirus

Back when the pandemic first hit, I had to tell my suitcase that my travel plans were cancelled.

Since then, I've constantly had to deal with emotional baggage.

Work got cancelled for two weeks, so I go to the grocery store on the way home.

I’ve seen all the news, lots of Facebook pictures of empty shelves, but I was not prepared for this madness. There’s a line of like five people by the frozen goods aisle, trying to get pizza.

So I decide to go get some ramen. I know it’s not the best, but it keeps forever and I’ve been perfec...

Today I cancelled my subscription to the decade

We've all been through 2020.

It has become clear to me that 2021 is pronounced "2020 won," and that 2022 is pronounced "2020 too."

With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'

It's on paperview

Did you hear Elizabeth Warren cancelled her campaign?

It wasn't the first race she has had to leave.

If foreigners are upset to have had their visas cancelled...

Why don't they just apply for MasterCards instead?

My doctor cancelled my visit today.

I was Disappointed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BBC's Sherlock got cancelled

Shit, no Sherlock.

April Fool's day has been cancelled due to coronavirus.

Everything you'll hear is true.

Why was the leper baseball match cancelled?

People started throwing hands

My wife just went into labor and our doula cancelled on us.

I’m having a midwife crisis.

Just got the email "Webinar on how to avoid frauds is cancelled"

And the fee is non-refundable.

Trump cancelled his trip to Britain because he doesn’t want to go anywhere he doesn’t feel welcome...

So what’s he still doing in the white house?

Why was Minecraft the movie cancelled?

Because all of the actors wore blockface.

***2020 CANCELLED***

After careful consideration, we have decided that it is no longer in the best interests of everyone involved to proceed with 2020.

While we recognize that a lot of hard work has gone into preparing for 2020, if we're honest it has just turned into a bit of a sh*tshow and we feel it best just ...

I was worried my tightwalking class would be cancelled because of the lockdown

But it's all online now

My kid's pediatrician cancelled my appointment because i was 5 minutes late

He has very little patients.

My university just cancelled classes after collectiing tuition, room, and board

The bookstore said my textbook edition was already out of date

In order to support social distancing, the National Association for Celebacy has cancelled its March meeting.

Please share this message. They want to make sure nobody comes.

post malone has cancelled his tour :(

does that make him postpone malone?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think it's weird that county fairs are being cancelled.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a *good* idea, but... I just figured that anyone who isn't afraid to hop onto a 60-year-old rusty roller coaster, that gets disassembled and reassembled 22 times a year by a traveling meth head with an allen wrench, while eating a deep fried stick of butter, wouldn't...

The Italian government has cancelled the town of Ferno’s annual fiesta

This year there’ll be no disco in ferno

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The prophecy class is cancelled...

Due to unforeseen circumstances

Queen's birthday celebrations are cancelled for the first time.

In 100 years she will remember it and laugh

Due to the corona virus my wedding planned for the 8th of May got cancelled

The good news is that this will give me some time to find someone to marry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Southwest flight is cancelled...

...and there's a long line waiting for a single agent to reschedule flights when an irate man walks to the front of the line and screams, "I HAVE TO BE ON THIS FLIGHT AND IT HAS TO BE FIRST CLASS!"


"I'm sorry sir but I have to help these other folks first.  I'll be happy to help you if yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was going to be a great TV show about the Air Force, but one of the actors was accused of sexual misconduct…

so they cancelled the pilot.

Pope Francis has cancelled the Easter events this year due to COVID-19.

I guess he’s just gonna Passover it this year.

Did you hear NASCAR and Formula One we're trying to make an Ultimate Showdown race but it got cancelled due to controversy?

Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races....

Did you hear the Reddit Movie got cancelled?

It involved too much post production

The Infectious Disease Olympics has been cancelled as the first event was a complete disaster. All contestants drowned!!

Turns out Water Polio wasn't such a good idea.

I cancelled my doctor's appointment recently

I was disappointed

Why did the Software Engineer reality TV show get cancelled?

People thought it seemed too scripted.

Christmas is cancelled.

Santa has passed away by natural clauses.

Brit: Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the UK but ‘canceled’ in America?

Murican: Coz we gave you that L in 1776

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Psychic and Clairvoyants fair cancelled today...

Due to unforseen circumstances

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Barbie is cancelled.

In light of the recent events in Korea, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag fact...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex with me is like a cancelled first date

It's over before it even started.

Today's performance of Hamilton in Chicago was cancelled due to the cold.

Once again, Brrr killed Hamilton.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the spelling bee cancelled?

One of the participants spelled disaster.

Did you know that a blue whale is so huge that if you put it end to end....

.... on a football pitch, the match would be cancelled ?

Easter has been cancelled....

They found the body.

Donald Trump has cancelled a planned trip to Israel.

When asked why, Trump said, "They already have a wall and fear of Muslims. My work there is done."

After being robbed in Paris Kim Kardashian has been silent, Kanye cancelled concerts, and Keeping Up With The Kardashians filming has been suspended......

After being robbed in Paris Kim Kardashian has been silent, Kanye cancelled concerts, and Keeping Up With The Kardashians filming has been suspended......
Best gift from France ever!!!

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