The Russians just canceled their undercover Penguin program

they found out we have NAVY Seals

A disabled bald eagle gets canceled

I recently signed a publishing deal on my inspirational children’s book about Ebert the one winging eagle who overcomes his disability and learns to fly. It is quite the heartwarming tale but I had to call it off due to all the backlash. People were outraged that he was literally a right wing extrem...

Christmas is canceled

I told Santa you were good this year and he died laughing.

My kids soccer championship was canceled due to rain and sleet.

So every player got a precipitation trophy.

When I canceled my gym membership,

I had to hand in my too weak notice

NASCAR is officially canceled

After discovering it's just a human traffic ring

Parents should wake their kids up early tomorrow and tell them to get ready for school because coronavirus was canceled

April Fool's

Seminar "How to avoid frauds" is canceled.

Tickets are non-refundable.

What are we to do with all the canceled sporting events?

They're going to televise the world origami championships live... On "paper view"!!!

What did the lovebirds eat in quarantine when their plans for Las Vegas were canceled?

Cantaloupe.

Sorry guys, Christmas is canceled.

Mary admitted everything.

Why was the prison writing contest canceled?

The warden decided that there were too many cons and not enough prose

My father promised me he would take me to Niagara Falls and then canceled

It was a Falls promise! :(

Fox has just announced they have canceled Empire

I hope Jussie Smollett doesn’t beat himself up over it.

I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant, thinking about how duckling means little duck.

So, I canceled my order of dumplings.

I canceled my appointment at the sperm bank.

I told them I was sorry but I couldn't cum.

TIL the Titanic was scheduled to have an evacuation drill the same day it sank but was canceled by the captain.

Now let that sink in.

Brit: Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the UK but ‘canceled’ in America?

Murican: Coz we gave you that L in 1776

My "Workaholics Anonymous" meeting got canceled...

Everyone had to work late

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist abruptly canceled me as a client.

After I told her I used to follow my last therapist home. Shame, we were making progress, I almost had her cross street

My origami classes were canceled.

Apparently the school folded.

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