Jokes are like cadavers...

They're all fun and games until you dissect one.


It's funny because the word dissect is used as both "dissecting a joke" and also as "dissecting a cadaver."
Also, both cadavers and dissected jokes are often dead.

A doctor was addressing his first year med students on their first day working with cadavers...

The doctor at the head of the class told them, "In order to make sure you all have the right stuff to become medical doctors, please do exactly as I do".

.

The doctor then made an incision into the abdomen on the body before him and waited until all of the students had done the same. ...

A doctor ordered a cadaver...

...for his med students to dissect. When it arrived, the doctor noticed it was missing an organ.

I guess you could say his package was de-livered. ^I'm^sorry

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A surgeon is taking a class of trainees to see a cadaver for the first time...

He tells them that it's really important that they familiarize themselves with the corpse, so he says "Do exactly as I do."

He then sticks his finger into the dead guys anus, pulls it out and sucks on it.

Then he lines up the students and says "Now your turn."

Obediently, one b...

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A doctor presents some medical students with a cadaver

A doctor presents some medical students with a corpse. He tells them 'It is important to be comfortable with the cadaver'.

He briefly inserts his finger into the naked corpse's anus. He then licks his finger. He instructs the students to do the same. One by one they reluctantly do the same....

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Professor welcomes the class in Anatomy lab on the first day of medical school.

He begins by saying - You need 2 rules to become a successful doctor.

No 1 - you cannot feel disgusted by anything.

After saying that, he stuck his finger into the cadaver's butt hole.

Students look at him in a shocked manner, but eventually they give in and remembering his r...

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A large group of first year medical school students filed into a lab...

...during their first week, for the first meeting of their gross anatomy class where they would be examining human cadavers. The professor walked to the front of the room, and addressed the students:

"The most important quality you will need as a physician is unfazability. Nothing can '...

A undertaker hosted a magic show once.

His slogan was, "Abra-cadaver-a".

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So there's this pathologist who's just walked into the morgue with his medical students

They walk over to a cadaver that's just arrived that morning.

"Please observe the following" he says. He takes his index finger and shoves it up the anus of the cadaver, pulls it out and sucks on his finger. "Now you all try" he says as each student puts their index finger up the anus and li...

What does a necromancer magician say during a magic trick?

Abra-cadaver.

What do you call a magician's dead body?

Abra cadaver

"Hey man, you want this body?" Asked the serial killer.

"Nah, you cadaver."

My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school.

She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.

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Mediocre guy dies and arrives at the Pearly gates

God meets him and says: you were neither good nor bad, so you will have a chance to decide now, heaven or hell?

Guy thinks to himself for a minute and says: Let's try hell first, if it doesn't work out I'll just end up in heaven.

So down he goes...

The earth opens up and smoke...

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When that guy has sex with his wife on a motorcycle he's "cool."

When I do it I'm "absconding with the cadaver."

What would you get if Harry Potter tried to kill Darth Vader?

*A Vader Cadaver*

I made a dead body wearing a brassiere disapear.

A-bra-cadaver!

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A group of first-year medical students is gathered around an operating table for their first anatomy lesson with a dead body.

“As a doctor, you’ll need to develop two key skills,” the professor begins. “The first is stoicism. You can’t be disgusted by anything involving the human body.” The professor then rolls the body over, sticks his finger into the corpse’s butt, withdraws it and sticks his finger in his mouth. “Now do...

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First-year med-students in their first anatomy class...

It is the first day of medical school, and the doctor in charge of the new class has all the new students gather in the main lecture hall for the orientation. Taking his place in front of the group, he starts his speech.

"In order to succeed in the world of medicine, you must first master two...

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So, I was a pallbearer at a funeral

I was once a Pallbearer at a funeral in Wisconsin during the winter and it was cold as shit with alot of snow and ice on the ground. As we were carrying the coffin down the stairs, one of the pallbearers slipped and fell down which caused all of us to lose our grip and the coffin fell onto the icy s...

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New medical students

A group of doctors in training and their teacher are standing in a circle in the lab around a cadaver. The teacher tells his students:

"it's very important that you feel completely at ease with the corpse", so he puts his finger up the ass of the corpse, takes it out and licks it. "Your turn...

I want to start body building.

I just need to find out where hospitals put the cadavers.

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What do you get when you use the 3rd Unforgivable Curse on a pornstar?

Erotic cadaver.

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Medical Students

A group of first year medicals students are attending their first class. An eccentric looking lecturer walk in and says: "An important thing in medicine, is not to be fazed by what seems disgusting to the general public. Allow me to demonstrate" The lecturer brings a cadaver into the lecture theatre...

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