Cadaver Jokes - 25 Hilarious Cadaver Jokes

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A group of first year medical students are gathered around a table with a naked cadaver on it…..

Their instructor motions for them to come close for their first 3 lessons of medical school.

“The first lesson is that you must not be afraid of the human body, alive or dead” he says as some of the students are visibly uncomfortable.

He then holds up a finger and says, “you must als...

A great name for a crematory would be AbraCadaver

Have you lost a loved one and don't know what to do next? AbraCadaver!

Tired of those pesky teenagers and their hula hoops on your lawn? AbraCadaver!

Interested in going out in a blaze of glory? AbraCadaver!

My wife was so upset when I brought a basket full of cadaver feet home from the morgue the week before Christmas...

I thought they'd make great stocking-stuffers.

Women. I just can't read 'em.

What did the magician say when his assistant died during the show?

Abra cadaver!

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A surgeon is taking a class of trainees to see a cadaver for the first time...

He tells them that it's really important that they familiarize themselves with the corpse, so he says "Do exactly as I do."

He then sticks his finger into the dead guys , pulls it out and on it.

Then he lines up the students and says "Now your turn."

Obediently, one b...

What did the magician say after actually cutting his assistant in half?

Abra-cadaver

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So there's this pathologist who's just walked into the morgue with his medical students

They walk over to a cadaver that's just arrived that morning.

"Please observe the following" he says. He takes his index finger and shoves it up the of the cadaver, pulls it out and on his finger. "Now you all try" he says as each student puts their index finger up the and li...

Jokes are like cadavers...

They're all fun and games until you dissect one.

It's funny because the word dissect is used as both "dissecting a joke" and also as "dissecting a cadaver."
Also, both cadavers and dissected jokes are often dead.

A doctor was addressing his first year med students on their first day working with cadavers...

The doctor at the head of the class told them, "In order to make sure you all have the right stuff to become medical doctors, please do exactly as I do".

.

The doctor then made an incision into the abdomen on the body before him and waited until all of the students had done the same. ...

Grandma's dream finally came true and she went to medical school

As a cadaver

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A large group of first year medical school students filed into a lab...

...during their first week, for the first meeting of their gross anatomy class where they would be examining human cadavers. The professor walked to the front of the room, and addressed the students:

"The most important quality you will need as a physician is unfazability. Nothing can '...

I’m so proud of my grandma. At 90 years old she attended medical school

She’s a cadaver.

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First-year med-students in their first anatomy class...

It is the first day of medical school, and the doctor in charge of the new class has all the new students gather in the main lecture hall for the orientation. Taking his place in front of the group, he starts his speech.

"In order to succeed in the world of medicine, you must first master two...

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Professor welcomes the class in Anatomy lab on the first day of medical school.

He begins by saying - You need 2 rules to become a successful doctor.

No 1 - you cannot feel disgusted by anything.

After saying that, he stuck his finger into the cadaver's hole.

Students look at him in a shocked manner, but eventually they give in and remembering his r...

A undertaker hosted a magic show once.

His slogan was, "Abra-cadaver-a".

My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school.

She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.

So I was feeling a little stiff the other day...

until the mortician told me to get away from the little person cadaver.

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When that guy has with his wife on a motorcycle he's "cool."

When I do it I'm "absconding with the cadaver."

"Hey man, you want this body?" Asked the serial killer.

"Nah, you cadaver."

I want to start body building.

I just need to find out where hospitals put the cadavers.

What would you get if Harry Potter tried to kill Darth Vader?

*A Vader Cadaver*

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Medical Students

A group of first year medicals students are attending their first class. An eccentric looking lecturer walk in and says: "An important thing in medicine, is not to be fazed by what seems disgusting to the general public. Allow me to demonstrate" The lecturer brings a cadaver into the lecture theatre...

I made a dead body wearing a brassiere disapear.

A-bra-cadaver!

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So, I was a pallbearer at a funeral

I was once a Pallbearer at a funeral in Wisconsin during the winter and it was cold as with alot of snow and ice on the ground. As we were carrying the coffin down the stairs, one of the pallbearers slipped and fell down which caused all of us to lose our grip and the coffin fell onto the icy s...

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A group of first-year medical students is gathered around an operating table for their first anatomy lesson with a dead body.

“As a doctor, you’ll need to develop two key skills,” the professor begins. “The first is stoicism. You can’t be disgusted by anything involving the human body.” The professor then rolls the body over, sticks his finger into the corpse’s , withdraws it and sticks his finger in his mouth. “Now do...

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